Rest in knowing God works ALL THINGS together for your good… even the painful. Pain will teach you more then pleasure ever will. Every great victory or next level comes after intense pain, pressure, sacrifice, or struggle. You are not running the race of life against another person, so all you have to do is finish the race.
Perseverance produces character. You can’t persevere without a continued effort to achieve something DESPITE difficulties, failures, or opposition. Too many times we hijack the time table to our blessings because of the way we are responding.
There is a HARD lesson in life that earning an upgrade of spiritual maturity comes with. Not everyone is going to love you, and not everyone is going to like you. In fact, the #bible actually tells us that people will hate you for the stand you take for Christ. (Matt 10:16-33, John 15:18, 2 Tim 2:3-4) But when you understand that ALL things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and were called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28) you’re able to digest those harder lessons. See when someone hates you, it forces you to look at yourself and figure out what it is that they’re seeing that they hate so much. In the words of Bishop Jakes, “folks have hated me on a level I didn’t even know I was on.” Did you catch that tho? Sometimes YOU don’t even fully know the power of the weight of the call and the impact of the anointing God has placed over your life until it causes someone to hate you at a level where they sacrifice moments of their own life just to engage in hating you. There are people in this world who are so miserable in their own lives, instead of fixing what’s wrong with them they invest their time and energy into trying to make other people just as miserable as they are. However, when you can look at yourself and understand exactly what it is that God has given you? When you can get before God and actually genuinely pray for people who do you wrong? You won’t ever spend another moment worried about what someone else may or may not think or say about you because all you will truly care about is at the end of it all hearing the words, “well done my good & faithful servant”.
Everyone claims to be so independent but in truth, they’re not. Most people are stuck in a highly contagious addiction called People Pleasing. There is a healthy form of People Pleasing then there is the kind that can rob you of your joy, peace, and in some cases folks hand over their entire self-worth. Nobody wants to be disliked, but let me clear something up (and anyone who tells you different is a liar) NOBODY likes EVERYBODY. Feel better? This is destructive to try and stay in everyone’s good graces to the point you eventually get so caught up in it that you lose yourself.
Everybody knows that one person that talks about EVERYBODY. Guess what? They talk about you. You see this kind of person has lost their own identity to the point that in order to avoid dealing with that, instead they keep a fully loaded clip of information about other people. The more information they offer about others, the less time they have for looking in the mirror. Don’t let people who operate like that bother you, pity them.
At the end of the day, you know right from wrong… don’t you? When you’re at a job, it’s healthy to “people please”. They pay you, do what you get paid for. That’s a safe form of people pleasing and it’s worth ethic. If you don’t do what you’re paid to do, then that’s an integrity issue that you have and has nothing to do with people pleasing.
No matter how wonderful your parents are, they messed up. Parenting doesn’t come with a handbook and NOBODY’S parents did everything the right way. I have seen folks at Grandparent status still twisted over what their parents think. I am in no way telling anyone to be disrespectful. I don’t care if your mother was a crack head, there is a parental line of respect and in lots of cases it ends there. Your life will never be your own if the opinion of other people define the choices you make. Anything you say or do has to be well with you. You are the only person that will grow or not grow, build or destroy, and you are the only person who has to deal with the choices & consequences of your life. They can impact other people, but ultimately they are yours.
Being able to set boundaries and limits is vital to your growth as an individual. Learning how to own yourself takes you to the next level in understanding. There are some situations where pushing past the past cannot be accomplished alone and you should seek help. In my opinion one of the most dangerous beliefs that currently circulates the earth is YOLO. You only live once. You only die once too. (We’re not going to argue reincarnation beliefs because they don’t apply. If you end up reincarnated you don’t come back the same… correct? Discussion closed.)
The Gospel of Q
Everyone has something to offer Fam. Good or bad they have something. Something I have learned over time (and again, this in no way implies that I got it during the first lesson.. some times it takes ten) that you can save yourself a whole lot of time and aggravation with other people if you do a few simple things.
- Be quiet. Listen. Some of us are the type of listeners that are always thinking about what we’re going to say as soon as the other person shuts up. You can get yourself in a lot of trouble this way. Here’s why, typically most people with ill intentions will let you know EXACTLY what their intentions are. It’s not their fault you’re not listening.
- History. Do you have a history with this person? Having a history doesn’t mean that people don’t change, but it means you should absolutely have a good idea of what the person is capable of. For example if the person has always been a selfish person in the past, and now all of the sudden they pop up randomly. It doesn’t make you a bad person to listen for the motives.
- Logic. Moving in logic is hard for people often times because they have no self-control and they move wildly about inside of their emotion. The problem with moving inside of emotions is dangerous. Emotions change all the time, and emotional decisions will get you in trouble with no logic that you didn’t consciously sign-up for. Don’t expect people to be like you, don’t expect people to not do things you would never do, etc. Take things as they come at face value. It’s like getting into an argument with an idiot. Trying to convince a stupid person why they were stupid, makes you stupid in the process.
- Self-Responsibility. We have to learn that when we make bad choices or impulsive decisions and they are OUR OWN fault. The wisdom comes when you realize, recognize, and re-group. Making a bad choice or decision doesn’t mean you’re any less valuable. You messed up. Learn, get over it, and move on.
Learn how to see situations & people for what they are. Don’t force unrealistic expectations upon other people, you’re the only one who will be disappointed. You can only ever hope to control yourself. You are responsible for setting your boundaries and limits of “what” is okay to do to you. People only do what you let them. Swallow your pride, resist the urge to get the last word in, hang up. Easier said then done, but like anything else, practice makes perfect.
The Gospel of Q