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Gossip, Gossip, Gossip by @queentheprophet

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Gossip is defined as casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true. Nine times out of ten, gossip starts with what one person thinks, feels, or perceives then passes it on. Have you ever played the telephone game? You tell the person next to you something and they whisper it to the person next to them and by the time it gets to the last person the message is something else entirely. Many of us (myself included) have either participated in or been a victim of gossip. Although there are folks in this world that have become rich & famous just because they spread gossip.

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Gossip is one of the most destructive forces in the universe. You’re probably wondering, “if it’s so destructive then why do so many people do it?” Well, it’s like anything else. Just because a lot of people do or say something doesn’t make it right. Cigarettes are legal although they’re known to cause cancer, alcohol is legal to be served at most dining establishments although drinking and driving is illegal and the list goes on. It really boils down to personal choice and morals. What kind of person are you? What kind of person do you want to be? Do you want to be a person that lifts others up or tears people down? “A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret” (Proverbs 11:12-13). The Bible tells us that “a perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends” (Proverbs 16:28).

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Fam, we have got to be more careful. We can think we have the facts on any given situation and still not have the truth. We live in a day and age of the “screen shot” and “copy & paste” (which means people can alter information before you see it by only showing you parts of a conversation) so the truth of the matter is? Unless you were there personally? You really don’t know the truth and nine times out of ten? It’s not even your business or a matter that you should even be speaking on unless you’re praying because not only can you hurt someone but you may also end up loosing friendships or other relationships due to assumptions made from gossip. I remember when I was in school, gossip normally came to you because somebody told you. In today’s day, you normally find out about a rumor because somebody posted it on the internet.  Have you ever heard the saying “misery loves company”? Well it’s absolutely true. When one person is miserable, they tend to attract other people desiring to also be miserable.

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You’ve also got to protect yourself. Your eyes and your ears are the windows to your soul. What comes out of you will only ever be what you put in. There is a whole lot of garbage that flies around our eyes and ears, especially on the internet. Sometimes even if it’s not posted by someone that you know personally, having a mutual person in common may cause some utter trash to fly through your timeline. Believe me, I know. I recently deleted my personal Facebook page (my artist page is still in tact for business purposes) simply because I was sick and tired of all the garbage my eyes had to pass to even get to what I was on for in the first place. The truth of the matter is, the sinful nature of the human being always first sizes up “better than, less than”. It makes people feel better about themselves to deflect what’s wrong with them, if they’re busy pointing out what they think is wrong with you. If they can get enough fingers to point at you? They feel much safer about their deeds, personal insecurities, and flaws becoming exposed. Every single person walking this earth has deeds, insecurities, and flaws the only difference is, some of us have learned to accept the fact that we have an all loving creator that even on our worst day, loves us unconditionally anyway. Once we get secure in this truth? We can start working on ourselves and are okay with being a constant work in progress no matter what other people may say or think. The problem with most people is they’re scared to look at their own flaws and imperfections and instead opt to just live a life explaining why someone else always did something to them and they pretty much just continue on in their miserable, depressing existences trying to discredit others so they can “feel” better about themselves.

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What we have to keep in mind though, is “hurting people, hurt other people” plain and simple. No normal, emotionally stable person intentionally tries to hurt other people, that doesn’t even make any sense if you think about it. We can’t control other people, at best we can only hope to control ourselves which includes the way we respond and receive information. Anyone that is close to me and has had one of my famous “QTP lectures” can attest to my famous saying “don’t get upset when someone calls you something you’re not”. I know it can hurt, but we’ve also got to realize that we can be in control about what we actually receive into ourselves and quite honestly if the other person or people involved don’t have an actual heaven or hell to put you in? Don’t worry so much about it. They talked about Jesus, so best believe they’re going to talk about you. Guard your heart and guard your spirit and you’re not a trash can so don’t let people dump garbage on you.

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#AutismAwareness PARENTAL RIGHTS

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PARENTAL RIGHTS

You know that pamphlet of really tiny writing that you always get at a meeting or sent to you in the mail…..those are your Parental Rights, you need to read them!  Every state has them posted on their Department of Special Education website, download them if you threw them out or ask for another copy.  This gives you the answers to many of your questions.  This tells you what you are afforded under Federal & State educational law.  Reading this information will make you a better advocate for your child.
Every time I attend a PPT for a family member or a client, I read these Procedural Safeguards because I want to make sure I know exactly what my loved one or student has the right to receive and what the parent is entitled to ask for.

Outlined in these packets include:
-Explanation of IEP
-Explanation of Testing procedures (timelines, consent, initial evaluation vs. re-eval, etc.)
-Explanation of Special Education services
-Explanation of Due Process (legal process or action you can take if you disagree with the school)
-Explanation if you disagree with school testing and your right to request an Independent   Educational Evaluation (IEE)
-Explanation of suspension/expulsion for students with IEPs.
-Explanation of Seclusion/Restraint policy

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Again, it is your responsibility to be informed of what your rights are as a parent of a child who receives Special Education services.  Be responsible.  Read your Parental Rights and always keeps copies of your child’s educational records (IEPs, progress reports, report cards or evaluations).  I highly recommend every parent keep a file and organize it by year so that if you ever need to refer to it or if you ever find yourself in a legal battle with your school system, you want to make sure you have all the necessary documents.  If you are missing something, ask you school.  It is your right to make a formal request of educational records from the school district at any time.

Here is an interesting article I recently found written by an educational attorney regarding when parents question the services their child is receiving in schools.  Hope you find it helpful.

http://school.familyeducation.com/special-education/ada/38430.html

Jodi L. Everone, M.S., CCC-SLP

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#Autism Awareness Month Essential Resources for Parents

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There are many free resources available to parents who may require in home assistance, advocacy support, finiancial support for their children with autism.  You need to look into your own state as this can vary from state to state.  Many state departments of education have specific websites for their special education services offered in the state.  This can be tricky because often times, services vary by town/city.  Again, you are your child’s best advocate.  Do some digging!  We all have our smart phones for a reason and if you don’t, go to your local library and get on the internet for free!  Some key words that may provide you with the help you want can include (but are not limited to):
Autism groups + state name
Department of Special Edcuation (include your state name)
Individualized Education Plan Manual (IEP) – your child’s school IEP is a legal document, KNOW what the school is really providing your child!
Parent Advocacy groups
Behavioral support
Behavioral health support for children
Department of Mental Health
Department of Mental Retardation/Developmental Disabilities (this title may vary by state)
Funding support for autism
–again, these are just some ways to phrase searches.
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If you want assistance, you are going to have to do some digging.  Get involved with parent groups, ask your school system if they have a Special Education PTA (SEPTA), ask Birth to Three providers if they offer parent support groups, go to parent training seminars.  Get connected with other parents who have gone through or are going through the same battles as you.  Many state departments offer funding for families with children with disabilities.  Contact your school social worker as they often have the experience or contact information you may seek.
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For families in CT, it is State law that insurance companies provide medical coverage for children with autism.  Look into your medical insurance and see what is covered as far as speech-language therapy, occupational therapy, behavioral therapy services, etc.  CT families here are some agencies or services that are available to you:

#AutismAwareness For Parents

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Basic things parents need to know:
You are your child’s best advocate.  During your child’s well visit at the pediatrician it is now federal law that every child is screened at 18 months.  Most doctors offices will give you a checklist to complete.  Your doctor can only recognize the signs if you are honest and report accurately.  Not all pediatricians understand Autism.  Your pediatrician might not recognize the autism warning signs.  YOU NEED TO KNOW THE WARNINGS SIGNS!
1.  Fixation on particular objects (examples can include but are not limited to: watching wheels spin; incapable of putting a favorite toy down; fixation on an inappropriate object for the child’s chronological age or safety concern: ex: screwdriver; etc).
2.  Repetitive or inflexible play: lining objects up, needing to complete a task before moving on to another, unable to play with any toy other than familiar one, etc.
3.  Aversion to stimulating light or sound:  most kids on the spectrum have overstimulated sensory systems.  The buzz of the fluorescent lights in a building, the dog barking two streets over, the lawn mower starting outside are just few examples of hidden triggers that can upset these kids sensitive systems.  Many of these children cannot settle their “internal noise” and external noise (that often goes unnoticed to many of us) may unhinge them.
4.  Inability to respond to their name:  this is not like a teenager ignoring their parents.  This is a child who is so disengaged from the world they are in that they 1. Don’t know their own name, or 2. Do not have the comprehension to know that they are supposed to turn and look at a person when their name is called.
5.  Social incompetence:  as everything with children on the autism spectrum, this may vary by each individual.  Children’s social competence is very often measured by their play skills.  Autistic children will not want to play WITH  others, but rather NEAR them.  Engaging in social reciprocity means there is give and take within an interaction (my turn, your turn so to speak).  PARALLEL PLAY is playing close in proximity to another child, but not really engaging with the child.  Children on the autism spectrum will play very nicely with their own toys as long as its on their terms For example: in Johnny’s mind “I line up all my cars by my specific color coding system and if you even try to think about taking a car from my line, watch out because  I will unleash such a tantrum on you!”  Yes, there may be kids playing with cars near Johnny, but the typical kids are crashing them, saying “vroom” and imaginatively interacting using language with their play.  Johnny isn’t interacting, he is engaging in his play and in spatial proximity to the other children.  This is parallel play.  This is a very immature play pattern that typical kids will grow out of by age 2-3.
6.  Language skills: your child’s language development begins with infancy.  They are constantly being exposed to new vocabulary, you model or label items within your child’s environment to give them the language skills they need in order to understand and eventually talk.  Children on the autism spectrum may be delayed talkers, they may not understand directions (go get your shoes) because these are all language tasks.
7.  Strange physical movements or vocalizations.  Flapping hands, Staring at ones fingers and moving them in front of their face, high pitched screaming, unusual vocalizations (not meaningful words, strands of speech sounds that are repeated but do not represent a word or communication intent.

Jodi L. Everone, M.S., CCC-SLP

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