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Boundaries

I think it’s fair to say that most people aren’t ever taught the importance of having personal boundaries. Proper parenting involves setting limits (rules) for children, school and the workplace have policies and rules but unfortunately the average person doesn’t learn about personal boundaries until they’ve been hurt by not having any.

Self preservation is not selfish. It is very important to have an inner confidence (sense or knowing) of what is okay and not okay when it comes to ourselves. Having healthy boundaries is learning how to own our personal “yes” and own our personal “no”.

Boundaries look different depending upon what kind it is.

You may have a work boundary and decide that Saturday is family day and you are not doing any work related things on a Saturday, period. You may have a personal communication boundary that if someone is hostile or swearing, you will not participate in the discussion until the tone of voice and language can be respectful.

It doesn’t happen overnight, but take sometime to think about all the areas you have in your life and what the limits are. Do you even have limits or do you just go with the flow even when the flow is trying to drown you? Have the courage and strength to see yourself as the valuable creation God created you to be. Have confidence in your worth and know deep down on the inside that you are worthy of being treated with dignity and respect.

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Seek respect, not attention

Ladies ladies ladies….I love y’all but I am SO sick and tired of seeing the majority of women out here doing THE MOST for attention. Babygirl, learn what RESPECT feels like and seek that instead. Focus on being worthy of the pursuit.

(PROVERBS 31:30)

#WednesdayWisdom Setting Boundaries

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Boundaries are important because they set limits. Too often times many of us find ourselves stressed out simply because we don’t have any clearly established boundaries in our life. There are limits and boundaries in every part of our lives even if we fail to recognize them or acknowledge them.

There’s order and structure in Heaven and even the kingdom of darkness has an order and rank that’s followed. Home, church, work, school, etc all have limits and rules to some extent. For some reason though, people seem to have the hardest time when it comes to developing personal boundaries. Some folks have no idea how to respect them and that’s not entirely their fault because many people don’t even know how to have them so the “norm” in most cases is for people to actually feel a false sense of entitlement to do or say whatever they want. Have you ever said no and then been asked a million questions as to why you said no, then felt obligated to talk more?

We have got to learn an internal system of healthy limit setting. Self-preservation is not selfish and you don’t owe everyone an explanation. This isn’t a free pass to be disrespectful or obnoxious but you can say no and own your no. It’s up to you to decide what you are willing to commit to, tolerate, and even the way you allow other people to communicate with you and treat you. I make it a point to speak to everyone with respect. It doesn’t always mean I’m going to tell them something they desire to hear, but I will speak in a respectful manner and if they’re not going to speak to me in the same manner then we won’t speak until that can happen.

It is so important we understand our worth because once we truly understand our worth, we will have a much easier time protecting it.