There are just somethings in life we can’t fully comprehend until we get there. As we are fortunate enough to be alive decade to decade our priorities should shift. Notice I said SHOULD.
I was thinking about how at one time in my life my career and entrepreneurial endeavors were thee most important thing in my world but as I’ve gotten older, the value of my actual life outside of work took its place.
There is nothing wrong with work ethic and I’m a huge advocate for being a good employee or employer. However, what you allow to be the things that weigh on your heart and mind on a daily basis should be the things that are completely irreplaceable . Sometimes we need to shift our priorities and put boundaries in place so that we do not end up having a list of regrets at the end of our lives.
Your time with your children can’t be replaced, they only grow once. The time with your loved ones only comes around once in a lifetime. Your relationship with God is what sustains you through good times and the inevitable hard times. So, I invite you to examine your priorities and make sure that you’re happy with the order of that list.
I think it’s fair to say that most people aren’t ever taught the importance of having personal boundaries. Proper parenting involves setting limits (rules) for children, school and the workplace have policies and rules but unfortunately the average person doesn’t learn about personal boundaries until they’ve been hurt by not having any.
Self preservation is not selfish. It is very important to have an inner confidence (sense or knowing) of what is okay and not okay when it comes to ourselves. Having healthy boundaries is learning how to own our personal “yes” and own our personal “no”.
Boundaries look different depending upon what kind it is.
You may have a work boundary and decide that Saturday is family day and you are not doing any work related things on a Saturday, period. You may have a personal communication boundary that if someone is hostile or swearing, you will not participate in the discussion until the tone of voice and language can be respectful.
It doesn’t happen overnight, but take sometime to think about all the areas you have in your life and what the limits are. Do you even have limits or do you just go with the flow even when the flow is trying to drown you? Have the courage and strength to see yourself as the valuable creation God created you to be. Have confidence in your worth and know deep down on the inside that you are worthy of being treated with dignity and respect.
When the kids are home all Summer…..
During the Summer, I have a few close friends (more like family) that entrust me with the responsibility of watching their kids. My oldest is 12, so she’s basically staff at this point and the others range from 2-10. On a full day (with at least 3 adults present), I’ve had 8 smalls. I’ve gotta tell you, having a classroom of 20 for a few hours in Sunday School is a whole lot different then having that many kids for two meals, two snacks and an entire day.
For anyone who has multiple children during the Summer months, I have found that creating a daily schedule and weekly menu helps tremendously in organizing what could potentially be chaos. All school age children have some sort of Summer Reading or Summer Homework that needs to be done so that should have a designated time. I have also found that listing “snack time” in-between meals prevents you being asked for a snack fifty thousand times. Recess, free time, arts & crafts also help take up some time slots. For my smalls, I’ve had all of them in Sunday School previously, so in my schedule we have a bible lesson also worked in.
For the little ones who can’t read yet or don’t have Summer Homework, I found a bunch of free learning apps on the for my I-Pad which I use with the little ones during this time and I also give the bigger kids reading credit if they choose to read a book to a smaller child. This helps the little ones learn to sit still which may not seem that important but it will be important when they start pre-school. Kids also learn from each other so don’t underestimate the impact of a bigger kid reading to a little one, most of them love it. In the back firing sense, I now have a two-year old goddaughter who tells me “sit” so she can read to me, which is mainly her flipping through the pages at top speed and going to get another book. Could be worse.
I know a lot of people don’t like to allow children to help clean up because they have to re-clean what the kids have cleaned. Honestly, that’s how I felt until I realized how much the kids actually enjoy helping so I try to give them tasks at the end of the day so everyone’s helping. For bigger kids? Give them the steam mop, it’s hard to mess up steam mopping unless of course it’s an 8 year old who decides it’s a weapon, then of course you’ll have to ban them from future steam mopping.It happens. I have also learned Lysol Wipes can be used on electronics and Clorox Wipes can not. So if you’re giving a kid a wipe (make sure it’s a child old enough not to eat the wipe), make sure it’s Lysol if they’re cleaning in a room that contains electronic devices. Also as a side note, don’t let them plug in the vacuum in the same room that an Air Conditioner is on or you’ll be taking a trip to the fuse box.
Rewards are also helpful. Kids love having something to earn or look forward to. I build in recess time because they have it at school and I have found it helpful to follow their regular pattern. I do Popsicle at the end of the day after clean up and I try to do a fun lunch on Friday (i.e. Pizza) if we have good behavior all week. Pizza can be expensive so things I’ve found helpful in that department is the party size pizza which is normally $20 and feeds at least ten people, Little Caesar’s has a $5 large pizza special (I have two kids with a milk allergy, but Little Caesar’s will make a sauce only and you can pay the extra dollar for meat), or you can do pizza bagels yourself.
I certainly don’t have all the answers folks, but the little I’ve included above has really helped me manage a lot of kids at once without loosing my mind. Hope it helps, feel free to comment below!
Dear Readers: Updates Coming Soon
Thank you all so much for your continued support over the years. I appreciate everyone who has taken time out of their busy day in order to read an article posted here.
After much thought, I decided that I am going to start updating the categories and content featured here. I don’t really follow the social norm as far as blogging is concerned. I know a lot of folks pick what kind of blog they want and dedicate their posting around a certain topic. That never really worked for me because I like to represent on my blog what and who I really am.
I am a person who has worked (and still does) for over 17 years in the field of Human/Social Services working with families, children, and individuals with disabilities. I am a person who has worked and still works in the music/ entertainment industry not only as an artist, but in many different administrative functions. I am a person who has been an entrepreneur for over a decade and I am a person who not only talks about God, but someone who tries their best to walk that belief out in my everyday life.
I’ve done a lot of growing and maturing since I started this blog and someone very dear to my heart always has told me that everything God allows you to go through is to help someone else. So I feel inclined to give away everything that I’ve learned so that hopefully it will help someone else. With that being said, currently my life is so hectic I don’t fall asleep, I pretty much collapse at the end of the day. I am a full-time caregiver, I manage a full-time health staff and do 170 hours of payroll bi-weekly. I am a full-time care manager (which is someone who coordinates all health and community programs for an individual with a disability), I care for several children full-time Monday-Friday, I am the First Lady to Hell Razah’s (Wu-Tang Clan/Sunz of Man risendocumentary.com) Ghetto Govt Global Movement, I oversee the development and Management of two independent record labels, as well as work in my church administrative office while managing to make time for family and friends, and at some point attempt to work on my own music and book. Yes. I do all of this 7 days a week, I rarely get a break and if you ask me how, I can only spell out J-E-S-U-S, that’s how LOL.
So in my re-design, I’m going to keep a lot of things like music I’m involved with, interviews, Encouragement articles, Hip-Hop 101 for Independent Artists, and #TeamQueen but I really want to add a lot of stuff I’ve learned over the last few years like how to feed 8 kids on a budget, parenting techniques, time management, budgeting, and personal organization. I also want to address things that are important to me because after all it is my blog. I hope that you all will enjoy the updates, thank you all for your continued support!