Blog Archives

#Relationships

Can’t move forward living in the past folks. People pray for #husband or #wife but are still picking up the phone every time an X calls…. position yourself to be FULLY equipped for what you’re asking for!

#Relationships101 Dating? It’s rough.

Ladies and Gentlemen too… trust me, I KNOW. It’s hard, it’s tough, it’s disappointing and in some cases devastating but you cannot give up. You just can’t. Often times we accept the love we THINK we deserve and God wants you to have the best. That doesn’t mean have unrealistic demands and expectations but don’t settle for a mate that requires assembly either. If you want God’s best? Do it His way. #ThatIsAll #dating #love #marriage #single #men #women

Lighthouse

I don’t think I’m alone in this, but it doesn’t even matter if I am or not. I am saddened, repulsed, disgusted and disappointed on a daily basis. At least for a moment. That moment happens when I open any given social media and see human behavior at an all time grotesque state. Unfortunately now in a digital world, you are slammed on a daily basis witnessing tragedy after tragedy, your eyes cannot help but see ignorance and hatred everywhere.

I know for myself personally as a believer in Yeshua, Jesus Christ I’m supposed to know these things would happen and I’m supposed to allow the Holy Spirit to lead me and guide me in these times, I’m supposed to let the love of God shine in me like a light for those around me in darkness and to be honest with you? Sometimes I want to quit. I get so disgusted every time I open a social media platform, every time I hear about another school shooting, see someone getting killed unjustly by law enforcement, watching people post some of the most vicious and hateful words I’ve ever read, and the children… My God the children. I can’t stomach one more senseless death of a child.

I had a moment the other day quietly by myself with God and just broke down like “Lord… how? How am I supposed to do this? I’m trying to do what you told me to do and I can’t “. I sat there quiet and an image of a Lighthouse flashes across my mind and then that quiet still voice, that has the capability of drowning you in perfect peace that you can only relate to if you have a personal relationship with God said “a lighthouse is most effective in the darkness.” I sat there and cried. Legit cried. The darker it is, the brighter the lighthouse light becomes.

So I decided to share this because believers have different positions, jobs, titles, but ALL have the same assignment. Your job may be inside a church, out in the street, at the grocery store, in your blog, at your office, in the mall, on instagram … it doesn’t matter. Don’t compare yourself to other believers, don’t get distracted from your job because you’re busy debating someone else’s job. We all get weary and yes, sometimes it “appears” that the wickedness is winning and there’s a lot of people who call themselves believers and their social media feeds make it impossible to tell them apart from people who don’t know Christ at all…. BUT we were told these things would happen (2nd Timothy 3:1-9). This is not the time to get weary (Revelation 12:11) it’s not the time to argue denomination or name translations (1 Corinthians 12:12). One day soon, people will be so tired of the state of the world that they will welcome with open arms one world order and a one world religion. If you turned off people’s phones and debit cards tonight, they’d line up by the thousands in the morning to take a microchip if it meant getting access to their money and the internet. (Revelation 13:16)

So my strength is renewed in this and I hope this will encourage those of you who have also become weary, they don’t have to like you. They don’t have to agree with you, they don’t have to listen, and they don’t have to believe. If you saw them crossing the street and a car was coming, you would yell , WATCH OUT! At that point they can make a decision to watch out or keep going. With something so precious as a soul and where you’ll spend eternity, I would never want to see anyone I knew or ever had any interaction with, standing before God being denied access to Heaven and seeing me there and asking why didn’t I tell them the truth. What would be a good enough excuse? Because I was afraid they wouldn’t like me anymore? What excuse or apology could I give? I can live with someone not liking me, I can live with people calling me names, I can live with someone disagreeing with me, but I don’t want to bear the burden of not telling them the truth.

So in whatever country, state, region, city, industry, or platform God has given to you personally? Be wise, win souls, and do not give up. It’s always darkest before dawn and someone, somewhere is looking for the light you carry.

Best Relationship Advice for 2017

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If you want more fulfilling relationships with other people this year try this:
STOP posting the blow by blow all over social media, ENJOY your private moments and if you feel the need to share a photo? Do it when it’s over. Then try actually spending time with people while not being on your phone. This system is flawless it worked for thousands of years before there was social media.

Dear Men #HappyFathersDay

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Since Father’s Day is approaching I wanted to take a moment and post something that was for the men specifically. I for one am a little sick and tired of everyone always beating on the men. There are good men and there’s not just five, there’s a lot of them. If you happen to be someone that can’t find one it’s probably where you’re looking and if you can’t seem to stop picking bad ones then sweetheart with all due respect, the problem isn’t them it’s you. I understand there are some dead beats out there, but there’s good and bad in every kind under the sun and maybe you have never met a dead beat mom but they exist far more then ever gets acknowledged. Domestic Violence is bad, people should never beat on each other but that goes for women too. As an actual DV survivor? Nothing ticks me off more then a woman who abuses a man continuously emotionally and physically until he explodes and then pulls the woman card. You women are disgraceful and what you’re doing is selfish because there are actually women who stalked, held hostage, and killed. So when you can’t keep your hands to yourself because you have emotional problems you haven’t dealt with yet… but I’m gonna leave that alone until another post.

Society has managed to do something pretty awful. Something that if it was corrected would solve A LOT of the issues going on in the world today. Men have been victims of an all out war waged against them by the devil himself. God created man in His image and likeness. Not angels or anything else. God created man. God created woman out of man. If we look back over the last 20-years society has always been constructed to assassinate the man. Everything is designed for them to fail. Images of them with absolutely no self-control when it comes to sex get shoved down their throat at a very early age and almost every main stream  music, movie, or product is strategically designed to portray them as an animal, giving you the impression that their life revolves around women, sex, beer, and sports. There is a generation of women that actually believe it’s okay for a man to cheat because “that’s what (insert race or negative term about a man of your choice) men do”. Then in the 90’s they were fed the womanizing gangster mentality and thus the “independent woman” “single mom” came into full swing as the “norm” and women got so independent they began to not need a man at all so when we rolled in to 2000 they just began sharing clothes since the roles had almost completely reversed and women now believe that they don’t need a man for anything.

So… I could get into so much more but that’s not what the purpose of this post is. I wanted to take some time out and speak a word of encouragement to the men. Not every woman thinks she doesn’t need one of you. In fact, there is a whole bunch of us who believe in who God called and created you to be. So on behalf of those women (and I assure you there are at least a million of us) I want you to know that the world is desperately in need of you to rise up and recognize the authority that God has placed inside of you. God created you to be so much stronger then you were probably ever taught that you were. When God gave Adam dominion over the earth, he was giving it to you so if you get yourself aligned (John 3:16) you absolutely already have everything inside of you to right a lot of wrongs.

Being the best at everything or allowing your value to come from material status and possessions is only a comforting goal for fools. These things are irrelevant to a man of God because he understands he was made in the image and likeness of his creator and everything he needs to be a man, husband, & father has already been placed inside of him with the maximum amount needed for greatness. Greatness is inside of you because God put it there and the only thing you really need to do is find it and activate it.

Happy Father’s Day 

Are they talking about you?

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You have to REALLY (and I mean REALLY) not care what people say about you. Listen, you could make the best apple pie in the world and there is ALWAYS going to be someone, somewhere that hates apple pie. With that being said, people throw shade. Why? It makes them feel better about themselves.Sinful human nature caters to “better than, less than” people feel better about themselves when they have something or someone else to talk about. When you’re a mature, emotionally self-controlled person you realize that most often times people will accuse the very thing that’s in their own heart. If they’re corrupt, they accuse others of being corrupt, if they’re fake, they accuse other people of being fake, If they would shove millions in their own pockets if they ran a mega ministry, that’s exactly what they accuse others of, If they could never picture themselves with someone, they accuse the intention of the person who is. etc. They talked about ‪#‎Jesus‬ and sold Him out for 30 pieces of silver, we’re not that special that we’re going to be exempt, SO GET USED TO IT. The good news is, they don’t bother talking about you unless you’re making an impact or they perceive you as some sort of threat. Don’t believe me? Go ahead and google any person you think has significance.

Aggressive Faith

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Faith is an action word, it’s supposed to be aggressive not passive. People of faith shouldn’t be quietly sitting in the corner twiddling their thumbs, hanging on till Jesus comes. If God gave you a dream and a vision, your role in that is to do whatever is reasonably within your power to do and He will do the rest. God gives us all gifts and talents but your testimony isn’t going to sound like “well God gave me this idea, I sat on it for as long as I could and one day it magically jumped off the table, came to life and the end”. Sometimes we’re sitting around crying about our situation or finances and the answer you’re seeking He already gave us but because it’s not currently convenient or what we feel like hearing, we just waste time. God NEVER promised this walk would be convenient, but He did say He shall supply all your needs, He wants you to live abundantly, lack no good thing, etc. so get up, get aggressive in your faith and do the possible. God will do the impossible.
Philippians 4:19

John 10: 10

Psalm 84:11

Psalm 34:10

Matthew 19:26

 

 

Why won’t God just fix them?!

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You can waste years of your #life waiting for #God to “fix” someone else & never see it. Often times the thing that needs changing in our situation is us no matter how right or wrong we perceive the other person to be. If a person, situation, or behavior has you stressed out, annoyed, angry, or worried you’re what needs to change. See when we are TRULY new creatures in #Christ we should be manifesting the fruit of the Spirit so when something annoying is going on? You are supposed to respond in His image (love, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control ) and until you do? Whatever is disturbing your peace or causing you to lose your self-control is going to keep repeating it’s self until that prideful you no longer answers the door.

Are you failing at being Single?

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Believe it or not, most people absolutely fail at being single.  Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and a ton of people who are not coupled off took to social media to cry their woes. Being single is a topic most people actually desire more helpful information about but nobody will ask for it, because nobody wants to talk about it. For some reason society has painted us a picture of the ideal time to be engaged, get married, buy a house, have children, etc. and when we don’t live up to “social norms” we somehow have allowed this to make us feel “less than” in the area of relationships. This is especially true for folks who are living for the Lord. Soon as you make the decision to follow Christ and realize that pre-martial sex isn’t a part of the bargain, like clockwork the first thought that passes through most people’s minds is ” I gotta hurry up and get married”. Now before I continue, this blog piece is going to be more of an introduction summary. Reason being is that I actually have a book I’ve been finishing up on this very subject and by the grace of God will be available for purchase early 2017.

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The very basis for my book encompasses answers and strategies for this very problem, most people fail at being single. Did you know that 50% of today’s marriages end in divorce? It is my belief that much of this directly relates to them failing at being single. If you fail at being single, you’re going to make a mess or fail altogether at commitment. “Relationship hopping” is one giant red flag you’re failing at being single. No matter how tough or strong willed you think that you are, anytime you are in a relationship with another person (especially if it becomes sexual) you are exchanging thoughts, time, emotions, experiences, and creating a soul tie. ( and the two shall become one flesh-Genesis 2:24, Mark 10:8) There is a spiritual component inside the scope of relationships that generally most people ignore. We are 3-part beings, we have a physical body, we have a spirit, and we have a soul. Your soul is your emotions, it’s the part of you that remembers your experiences both good and bad and it is the part of you that shapes your reality. The more women a man sleeps with, the more lost he is. Every time the man “releases” he is depositing a part of himself into his partner. The more men a woman sleeps with, the more lost she is. Every time a woman sleeps with a man she receives a deposit from her partner. Reckless behavior with the very intimate beauty of who you were created to be by God Himself can pollute every ounce of your being and make you feel disconnected, drained, hopeless, used, tired, heavy, and cynical. Then what happens? Most people never heal, never let God rid them of the spiritual baggage they’ve inherited and instead they hop from relationship to relationship with every single hurt, pain, and disappointment they’ve ever experienced and even if a new relationship seems like a happy one at first? Eventually those feelings of hurt, pain, rejection, and disappointment reappear. Unfortunately we live in a society that caters to your ego and does not teach self-responsibility and pretty much just tells you “leave if you’re not happy” and instead of ever getting healed people hop from relationship to relationship with outrageous and unrealistic expectations that another person is somehow ultimately responsible for their happiness.

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Most people fail at being single because they don’t have a clue what is is that they need. Everyone has a long list of what they want, but rarely do we ever take the time to include God and ask Him what it is that we NEED. This can’t be successfully found if we are hopping from relationship to relationship and never taking the time to get rid of all the baggage we have picked up over the years physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Many people will pray for a husband or wife but never take the time out to be single and ask God to prepare them to be a husband or a wife. Marriage, relationships, and commitment are a job and a responsibility, real ones anyway. Your happiness is your responsibility, not another person’s. Before committing to another person, if we want the best chances of having a successful commitment we need to learn how to be “whole” by ourselves. Two half people don’t make one whole person but two whole people that come together form a bond that is not easily broken. We have got to seek God and make an effort to have our lives whole before bringing someone else in the picture. If you don’t have regular time you spend with God as a single person don’t expect it to magically appear because you get in a relationship. If you don’t know how to productively occupy free time as a single person, you’re setting yourself up to be absolutely miserable when you find out your partner is incapable of entertaining you every second of everyday. Being single isn’t a disease. It’s far better to be alone then in the wrong relationship.

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We live in a time where everything that flies through our media time lines or television is completely sexualized. Don’t make the mistake of confusing sexualization with committed love because they are two entirely different things. Committed love is not based on a feeling, it is a decision. One of the most important decisions you can make is a decision to not prematurely involve yourself in a relationship until you’re really ready and don’t let what other people are doing or what it appears like everyone else is doing be the standard you adapt for your own relational happiness. For those of you who have experienced a significant trauma (i.e. rape, domestic violence, sexual abuse) it is absolutely necessary for your own peace of mind and your future relationships that you get help and take the proper time to heal before you find yourself in a situation that you’re emotionally unable to handle. If you want to build a strong relationship that will stand the test of time, you have to first make sure that whatever you’re building is on a strong foundation or the house won’t stand. You are the foundation so make sure that you take the time to make sure you are sifted, mixed well, and formed before you start laying down bricks.

Keep a look-out for the full book “Living Successfully Single” by Queen the Prophet in 2017! 

#Relationships101 Mistakes that women make by @queentheprophet

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Greetings Fam!

I wanted to talk about somethings that first & foremost I have done myself (See? Now nobody feels like I’m talking about them, I ALWAYS talk about myself first) and quite frankly, are issues I see all the time. I want to talk about them because these are the stupid things in life that cause big problems. So let’s chop it up about Mistakes WOMEN make in relationships.

 

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  • Make him pay for a heart he didn’t break:  If you are not over your last relationship, you are a selfish fool for getting into another one. Baggage has no place in a new relationship. When I say baggage, I’m not just talking about your ex. If you have messed up things unresolved with your father, if you are recovering from abuse and you did not get help? YOU BETTER if you ever hope to have a successful relationship.

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  • Running your mouth: Do you know Men HATE, HATE, HATE when their girl runs their mouth? There can’t be love without trust. If he can’t trust you to keep his secrets, then seriously what good are you as a partner? If you tell your friends something before you tell him? Did you ever stop and think about how that makes him feel?

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  • Double Standard: You can’t give anybody (let alone a man) invisible standards or double standards. Invisible Standard: You expect flowers on your birthday because they are important to you. You expect your partner to stay home with you every weekend.  (If you are the only person in your relationship that knows this, it is an invisible standard) Double Standard: You expect him to stay home with you every weekend until you have something fun to do with your other friends. You go through his phone but keep yours locked. (Double Standards. You’re setting him up because you switch up)

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  • Understanding: Your man is not a mind reader. Men are logic based thinkers and women are emotion based thinkers. Don’t “hint” at things, tell him exactly what you mean. Too many women get mad at men for just being men. Even if you leave several brochures laying around and stick a post-it on the fridge? He didn’t see it. He goes to the couch to sit, he’s not looking at the brochure on the table. If he’s at the fridge he is hungry and he’s not looking at the brochure taped to it. If you want to take a vacation, TELL HIM.

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  • The Counsel of your friends: Married women have no business hanging out with single women, point blank end of story. If you are a married woman and your closest friends are single? You are setting yourself up for a diaster anytime you start taking advice or counsel from single people.

If you are in a relationship and your friends are in the middle of a break-up? Please rememeber that misery loves company and even if it’s not on purpose? It can rub off and effect you.  Keep in mind “birds of a feather, flock together”. If you have a no good friend that’s always cheating everytime you two step out and that is who you CHOOSE to hang out with? It is a reflection of you somehow, someway, someday.

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