Blog Archives

Best Relationship Advice for 2017

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If you want more fulfilling relationships with other people this year try this:
STOP posting the blow by blow all over social media, ENJOY your private moments and if you feel the need to share a photo? Do it when it’s over. Then try actually spending time with people while not being on your phone. This system is flawless it worked for thousands of years before there was social media.

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Dear Men #HappyFathersDay

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Since Father’s Day is approaching I wanted to take a moment and post something that was for the men specifically. I for one am a little sick and tired of everyone always beating on the men. There are good men and there’s not just five, there’s a lot of them. If you happen to be someone that can’t find one it’s probably where you’re looking and if you can’t seem to stop picking bad ones then sweetheart with all due respect, the problem isn’t them it’s you. I understand there are some dead beats out there, but there’s good and bad in every kind under the sun and maybe you have never met a dead beat mom but they exist far more then ever gets acknowledged. Domestic Violence is bad, people should never beat on each other but that goes for women too. As an actual DV survivor? Nothing ticks me off more then a woman who abuses a man continuously emotionally and physically until he explodes and then pulls the woman card. You women are disgraceful and what you’re doing is selfish because there are actually women who stalked, held hostage, and killed. So when you can’t keep your hands to yourself because you have emotional problems you haven’t dealt with yet… but I’m gonna leave that alone until another post.

Society has managed to do something pretty awful. Something that if it was corrected would solve A LOT of the issues going on in the world today. Men have been victims of an all out war waged against them by the devil himself. God created man in His image and likeness. Not angels or anything else. God created man. God created woman out of man. If we look back over the last 20-years society has always been constructed to assassinate the man. Everything is designed for them to fail. Images of them with absolutely no self-control when it comes to sex get shoved down their throat at a very early age and almost every main stream  music, movie, or product is strategically designed to portray them as an animal, giving you the impression that their life revolves around women, sex, beer, and sports. There is a generation of women that actually believe it’s okay for a man to cheat because “that’s what (insert race or negative term about a man of your choice) men do”. Then in the 90’s they were fed the womanizing gangster mentality and thus the “independent woman” “single mom” came into full swing as the “norm” and women got so independent they began to not need a man at all so when we rolled in to 2000 they just began sharing clothes since the roles had almost completely reversed and women now believe that they don’t need a man for anything.

So… I could get into so much more but that’s not what the purpose of this post is. I wanted to take some time out and speak a word of encouragement to the men. Not every woman thinks she doesn’t need one of you. In fact, there is a whole bunch of us who believe in who God called and created you to be. So on behalf of those women (and I assure you there are at least a million of us) I want you to know that the world is desperately in need of you to rise up and recognize the authority that God has placed inside of you. God created you to be so much stronger then you were probably ever taught that you were. When God gave Adam dominion over the earth, he was giving it to you so if you get yourself aligned (John 3:16) you absolutely already have everything inside of you to right a lot of wrongs.

Being the best at everything or allowing your value to come from material status and possessions is only a comforting goal for fools. These things are irrelevant to a man of God because he understands he was made in the image and likeness of his creator and everything he needs to be a man, husband, & father has already been placed inside of him with the maximum amount needed for greatness. Greatness is inside of you because God put it there and the only thing you really need to do is find it and activate it.

Happy Father’s Day 

Are they talking about you?

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You have to REALLY (and I mean REALLY) not care what people say about you. Listen, you could make the best apple pie in the world and there is ALWAYS going to be someone, somewhere that hates apple pie. With that being said, people throw shade. Why? It makes them feel better about themselves.Sinful human nature caters to “better than, less than” people feel better about themselves when they have something or someone else to talk about. When you’re a mature, emotionally self-controlled person you realize that most often times people will accuse the very thing that’s in their own heart. If they’re corrupt, they accuse others of being corrupt, if they’re fake, they accuse other people of being fake, If they would shove millions in their own pockets if they ran a mega ministry, that’s exactly what they accuse others of, If they could never picture themselves with someone, they accuse the intention of the person who is. etc. They talked about ‪#‎Jesus‬ and sold Him out for 30 pieces of silver, we’re not that special that we’re going to be exempt, SO GET USED TO IT. The good news is, they don’t bother talking about you unless you’re making an impact or they perceive you as some sort of threat. Don’t believe me? Go ahead and google any person you think has significance.

Aggressive Faith

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Faith is an action word, it’s supposed to be aggressive not passive. People of faith shouldn’t be quietly sitting in the corner twiddling their thumbs, hanging on till Jesus comes. If God gave you a dream and a vision, your role in that is to do whatever is reasonably within your power to do and He will do the rest. God gives us all gifts and talents but your testimony isn’t going to sound like “well God gave me this idea, I sat on it for as long as I could and one day it magically jumped off the table, came to life and the end”. Sometimes we’re sitting around crying about our situation or finances and the answer you’re seeking He already gave us but because it’s not currently convenient or what we feel like hearing, we just waste time. God NEVER promised this walk would be convenient, but He did say He shall supply all your needs, He wants you to live abundantly, lack no good thing, etc. so get up, get aggressive in your faith and do the possible. God will do the impossible.
Philippians 4:19

John 10: 10

Psalm 84:11

Psalm 34:10

Matthew 19:26

 

 

Why won’t God just fix them?!

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You can waste years of your #life waiting for #God to “fix” someone else & never see it. Often times the thing that needs changing in our situation is us no matter how right or wrong we perceive the other person to be. If a person, situation, or behavior has you stressed out, annoyed, angry, or worried you’re what needs to change. See when we are TRULY new creatures in #Christ we should be manifesting the fruit of the Spirit so when something annoying is going on? You are supposed to respond in His image (love, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control ) and until you do? Whatever is disturbing your peace or causing you to lose your self-control is going to keep repeating it’s self until that prideful you no longer answers the door.

Are you failing at being Single?

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Believe it or not, most people absolutely fail at being single.  Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and a ton of people who are not coupled off took to social media to cry their woes. Being single is a topic most people actually desire more helpful information about but nobody will ask for it, because nobody wants to talk about it. For some reason society has painted us a picture of the ideal time to be engaged, get married, buy a house, have children, etc. and when we don’t live up to “social norms” we somehow have allowed this to make us feel “less than” in the area of relationships. This is especially true for folks who are living for the Lord. Soon as you make the decision to follow Christ and realize that pre-martial sex isn’t a part of the bargain, like clockwork the first thought that passes through most people’s minds is ” I gotta hurry up and get married”. Now before I continue, this blog piece is going to be more of an introduction summary. Reason being is that I actually have a book I’ve been finishing up on this very subject and by the grace of God will be available for purchase early 2017.

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The very basis for my book encompasses answers and strategies for this very problem, most people fail at being single. Did you know that 50% of today’s marriages end in divorce? It is my belief that much of this directly relates to them failing at being single. If you fail at being single, you’re going to make a mess or fail altogether at commitment. “Relationship hopping” is one giant red flag you’re failing at being single. No matter how tough or strong willed you think that you are, anytime you are in a relationship with another person (especially if it becomes sexual) you are exchanging thoughts, time, emotions, experiences, and creating a soul tie. ( and the two shall become one flesh-Genesis 2:24, Mark 10:8) There is a spiritual component inside the scope of relationships that generally most people ignore. We are 3-part beings, we have a physical body, we have a spirit, and we have a soul. Your soul is your emotions, it’s the part of you that remembers your experiences both good and bad and it is the part of you that shapes your reality. The more women a man sleeps with, the more lost he is. Every time the man “releases” he is depositing a part of himself into his partner. The more men a woman sleeps with, the more lost she is. Every time a woman sleeps with a man she receives a deposit from her partner. Reckless behavior with the very intimate beauty of who you were created to be by God Himself can pollute every ounce of your being and make you feel disconnected, drained, hopeless, used, tired, heavy, and cynical. Then what happens? Most people never heal, never let God rid them of the spiritual baggage they’ve inherited and instead they hop from relationship to relationship with every single hurt, pain, and disappointment they’ve ever experienced and even if a new relationship seems like a happy one at first? Eventually those feelings of hurt, pain, rejection, and disappointment reappear. Unfortunately we live in a society that caters to your ego and does not teach self-responsibility and pretty much just tells you “leave if you’re not happy” and instead of ever getting healed people hop from relationship to relationship with outrageous and unrealistic expectations that another person is somehow ultimately responsible for their happiness.

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Most people fail at being single because they don’t have a clue what is is that they need. Everyone has a long list of what they want, but rarely do we ever take the time to include God and ask Him what it is that we NEED. This can’t be successfully found if we are hopping from relationship to relationship and never taking the time to get rid of all the baggage we have picked up over the years physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Many people will pray for a husband or wife but never take the time out to be single and ask God to prepare them to be a husband or a wife. Marriage, relationships, and commitment are a job and a responsibility, real ones anyway. Your happiness is your responsibility, not another person’s. Before committing to another person, if we want the best chances of having a successful commitment we need to learn how to be “whole” by ourselves. Two half people don’t make one whole person but two whole people that come together form a bond that is not easily broken. We have got to seek God and make an effort to have our lives whole before bringing someone else in the picture. If you don’t have regular time you spend with God as a single person don’t expect it to magically appear because you get in a relationship. If you don’t know how to productively occupy free time as a single person, you’re setting yourself up to be absolutely miserable when you find out your partner is incapable of entertaining you every second of everyday. Being single isn’t a disease. It’s far better to be alone then in the wrong relationship.

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We live in a time where everything that flies through our media time lines or television is completely sexualized. Don’t make the mistake of confusing sexualization with committed love because they are two entirely different things. Committed love is not based on a feeling, it is a decision. One of the most important decisions you can make is a decision to not prematurely involve yourself in a relationship until you’re really ready and don’t let what other people are doing or what it appears like everyone else is doing be the standard you adapt for your own relational happiness. For those of you who have experienced a significant trauma (i.e. rape, domestic violence, sexual abuse) it is absolutely necessary for your own peace of mind and your future relationships that you get help and take the proper time to heal before you find yourself in a situation that you’re emotionally unable to handle. If you want to build a strong relationship that will stand the test of time, you have to first make sure that whatever you’re building is on a strong foundation or the house won’t stand. You are the foundation so make sure that you take the time to make sure you are sifted, mixed well, and formed before you start laying down bricks.

Keep a look-out for the full book “Living Successfully Single” by Queen the Prophet in 2017! 

#Relationships101 Mistakes that women make by @queentheprophet

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Greetings Fam!

I wanted to talk about somethings that first & foremost I have done myself (See? Now nobody feels like I’m talking about them, I ALWAYS talk about myself first) and quite frankly, are issues I see all the time. I want to talk about them because these are the stupid things in life that cause big problems. So let’s chop it up about Mistakes WOMEN make in relationships.

 

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  • Make him pay for a heart he didn’t break:  If you are not over your last relationship, you are a selfish fool for getting into another one. Baggage has no place in a new relationship. When I say baggage, I’m not just talking about your ex. If you have messed up things unresolved with your father, if you are recovering from abuse and you did not get help? YOU BETTER if you ever hope to have a successful relationship.

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  • Running your mouth: Do you know Men HATE, HATE, HATE when their girl runs their mouth? There can’t be love without trust. If he can’t trust you to keep his secrets, then seriously what good are you as a partner? If you tell your friends something before you tell him? Did you ever stop and think about how that makes him feel?

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  • Double Standard: You can’t give anybody (let alone a man) invisible standards or double standards. Invisible Standard: You expect flowers on your birthday because they are important to you. You expect your partner to stay home with you every weekend.  (If you are the only person in your relationship that knows this, it is an invisible standard) Double Standard: You expect him to stay home with you every weekend until you have something fun to do with your other friends. You go through his phone but keep yours locked. (Double Standards. You’re setting him up because you switch up)

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  • Understanding: Your man is not a mind reader. Men are logic based thinkers and women are emotion based thinkers. Don’t “hint” at things, tell him exactly what you mean. Too many women get mad at men for just being men. Even if you leave several brochures laying around and stick a post-it on the fridge? He didn’t see it. He goes to the couch to sit, he’s not looking at the brochure on the table. If he’s at the fridge he is hungry and he’s not looking at the brochure taped to it. If you want to take a vacation, TELL HIM.

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  • The Counsel of your friends: Married women have no business hanging out with single women, point blank end of story. If you are a married woman and your closest friends are single? You are setting yourself up for a diaster anytime you start taking advice or counsel from single people.

If you are in a relationship and your friends are in the middle of a break-up? Please rememeber that misery loves company and even if it’s not on purpose? It can rub off and effect you.  Keep in mind “birds of a feather, flock together”. If you have a no good friend that’s always cheating everytime you two step out and that is who you CHOOSE to hang out with? It is a reflection of you somehow, someway, someday.

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National Poetry Month /Hash Tag Stories of #TEAMQUEEN @queentheprophet SPEAKS

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The Love of a King

Ladies listen close, men take some notes.

The love of a King can make a Queen’s heart float.

Every woman in her heart, no matter how long she’s been strong,

desperately wants her heart to know her soul mate’s song.

She was made from his rib, to always be by his side.

But sometimes it’s blinded by false king’s who’ve lied.

Queen’s just wait, peace be still.

Your King will find YOU, when it’s in God’s will.

In order to qualify for a love that will last,

make sure you’ve healed from things of past.

It’s all up to you how long this will take.

Never make one pay for a heart they didn’t break.

No, everyone is not the same.

There are wolves in sheep’s clothing that love to play games.

Protect your heart and know thy self.

Don’t believe falsehoods that come from someone else.

Don’t worry, Q would never judge you.

Look at all the poor choices I myself have lived through.

It seems now I speak of this in simplicity.

Only because it’s finally happened to me.

My King came into my kingdom, but never wanted my throne.

A real King comes with one of his own.

A King will presue your mind as first on his list.

He will never communicate love with a hand or a fist.

In each other your heart should safely trust.

Communication is key and is a real love must.

A King will work hard and prove worthy of respect.

With ease he’ll pass the family & friends test.

A King honors God first and not because of me.

He does it on his own because that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

He makes me proud of the man he is every single day.

I wish I knew back then it was supposed to be this way.

My King’s spirit shines, he’s a reflection of me.

Together we are the perfect reflection of He.

Now our cord is a bond of 3.

Honor and respect were the seeds that grew our tree.

He says as long as I want him he will never leave me.

It doesn’t even matter when he’s miles away.

My King makes me fall in love again every single day.

He compliments my future, he healed my past.

Happily every after is finally in my grasp.

Make no mistake, don’t envy what I have.

Now you know it’s possible so you should be glad.

You need to hold on, never give up your hope.

True love shows up when you need it the most.

Queen….. Ghost

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#ConfessionsOfTheHipHopMobwife: (This is my hash tag story of #TEAMQUEEN)

My name is QueenTheProphet…. #TEAMQUEEN

I am a Queen because I have lived through hell and I still walk in love.

I make mistakes. I have issues. I have ways. I am the truth of myself, good bad and ugly.

I own myself. I have come with a message. Don’t judge the mess of the messenger, test the truth of the message.

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(Download Wizard of Oz Free via Sound Cloud)

https://soundcloud.com/battlegrowndentertainment/wizard-of-oz-queentheprophet

I am the founder of Battlegrownd Entertainment, #OPERATIONREVOLUTION

I am not a rapper. I’m QueenTheProphet and I testify to a beat.

Known alias names: Jean Gray, The Phoenix, Pale Horse, Queen of the Kennel, The Robin Hood of Hip-hop, Slayer,  @hiphopmobwife. Rumor currently also has it that I’m the Wizard of Oz…. LOL

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I make music for the purpose of saving my brothers & sisters from a mind set that tells them they are anything less then destined to be Kings & Queens no matter what they have been through. I reveal myself for the purpose of truth.

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To the world that has tried to take me out and keep me in bondage, making me believe my past dictated my future:

YOU ARE A LIAR.

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To My Sisters: #TEAMQUEEN

OWN YOUR THRONE.

Respect another Queen’s throne, but OWN yours.

It does not matter what they said.

It does not matter what they did.

Life was designed to be created in you.

You are beautiful.

You are brilliant.

You are unique.

Your body is a one of a kind model.

Even if it was violated, YOU ARE STILL PRECIOUS.

Start packaging yourself and all of your treasures.

Now stand up, adjust your crowns.

The world needs you.

The Hash Tag stories of #TEAMQUEEN  http://wp.me/p2dJOM-bO via @Queentheprophet LADIES SUBMIT YOUR STORIES!!!

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To My Brothers: #KINGS :

You were made in the image and likeness of God.

You are the head of your household.

Protect your Queen, and she will be the crown of your life.

No matter what this world has told you, YOU ARE KING.

Stop abusing your power, adjust your crown.

Nothing is more beautiful to a woman then a man who owns himself and knows WHO HE IS.

Be Father’s to your children, even if yours wasn’t one to you. BREAK THE CYCLE.

The world needs you.

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#OPERATIONREVOLUTION Love 360…..

” You can only spread one or the other, love or hate. I wish people would stop giving so much power to the word Haters. Hate is contagious, but so is love. The only way we’re going to conquer it is to live by exsample.” – @queenofthebeast Purple Lionesse / Battlegrownd Entertainment

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#LADIES June 2k13 “F WHAT YOU HEARD” Author:@GRYNDHOUSZ audio #book for women that will change the way you look at yourself & men

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#Relationships101 by QTP Good Men, Good Women

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I am well qualified to speak on the subject of relationships. I’ve been in LOTS of bad ones, a couple of decent ones, a few absolute disasters, and then a real one. I’m also an actual Marriage Educator so for all you fine folks who don’t think experience counts for squat in wisdom, I’m credentialed. So many people, too many people are under the impression “good men & good women” don’t exist. It’s just not true. Here’s a little painful truth though… 9 times out of 10 you don’t ATTRACT a good one is because you’re not a good one…. Yet. “Good” doesn’t have anything to do with having a good paying job. They could have a crappy paying job but be an amazing human being that you might just pass by for some jerk that doesn’t give two cents about you because they make more money. Let me clue you in about making relational decisions based on a dollar amount. IT ALWAYS GETS SOLD TO THE HIGEST BIDDER. #fixyourface Look the person your with (or have been with)… can you say in your heart that if you got hit by a car and could no longer walk, would they be there? If you were involved in an accident and could never have sex again, would they stay? If you got laid off, would they stand by you? I’m not asking you anything I never asked myself. The scary part was when I asked myself those questions, the answers were all no and I was married.

People settle for the love they THINK they deserve. If you did not grow up and see a functional healthy relationship, how do you expect to have one? *crickets*. I hate to be the bearer of bad news Fam, but just because the majority of behaviors you see people do, doesn’t make it right. Folks jump into relationships with baggage, unrealistic expectations, and wounds that have never been healed. Now if you get 2 people together like this? Disaster. Even 1 of the 2? Disaster. 2 half people don’t make 1 whole. Most people are not successful in relationships because they don’t know how to be single. POW.

I know I just opened many cans of worms, don’t worry… I’m going to expand on those in later posts but for now I want to give you some jewels about what a REAL healthy relationship should look like… and if yours doesn’t? You and only you need to think about why… and in some cases (i.e. Domestic Violence), I’m sorry Luvs… it never will.

I used to be one of those people that just thought I had an A-hole magnet built in that I couldn’t find. Then finally after years of precious time, energy, tears all of which by the way you don’t ever get back I realized the problem was me. People did me dirty, sure…But I let them. See for a long time, I didn’t know my worth and I settled for ANYBODY, just to have SOMEBODY, so I didn’t feel like NOBODY. Granted, there are some folks that are just plain crazy and you get side swiped. Trust me, I know. But if this is a continual pattern? It’s you. Kids that grow up in homes where the parents fist fight, 9 times out of 10 find themselves in a similar relationship at some point in their life. When I referred to baggage, Fam… if you have had some traumatizing event (rape, DV, sexual abuse) happen to you and you have never gotten proper healing or help? You’re not going to find that in another person. That person will NEVER be able to “fix you”, only God does that. If you continue on that path you are setting yourself up to be hurt over and over again. People walk by mirrors every day… Some even spend hours in them but they never see themselves. You should ALWAYS have something in yourself to work on. It’s so dangerous when you think you’re fine. You’re not. Nobody is. But some stuff? We do it to ourselves. I hate to use this as an example but it’s the truth. If you are half naked or all the way naked on the internet… you either truly just dig yourself naked and don’t give a rat’s ass who sees you or you are empty in a place that never gets filled and the temporary satisfaction of attention numbs it enough that you can carry on. The thing is though, if that’s you…don’t get upset with “thirsty” or an ability to find somebody real. You’re going to get what you are setting yourself up to attract. If you don’t like it, change it.

 FRIENDSHIP: You should never, ever, ever date a person or try to build a relationship with someone who is not your FRIEND. What is a friend? Someone you can talk to, TRUST, someone you enjoy hanging out with, doing activities, share your hopes & dreams… get it? None of this has anything to do with sex. Sex should NEVER be confused with a relationship. Some folks are happy with relationships that are “just sex”, but somebody ALWAYS gets hurt in those. If you are looking for something more then sex, START BEING A FRIEND 1st. Do you remember the days you were in school? All you had was the phone. You’d talk for hours…Some of us had better “puppy love” relationships then adult relationships. Unfortunately, for most people they have sex first then end up in a relationship after they’ve had sex a few times. If you build a house, the foundation comes first. If it’s not strong? That house, comes tumbling down. If you skip out on getting to knows somebody, it’s your own fault when a year later you start discovering all these things you don’t like or can’t live with.
 LOVE THY SELF: If you don’t love you… don’t expect anyone else to know how to love you. Loving yourself is not being conceited. It’s loving & respecting yourself as a valuable human being and setting up boundaries of what is and is not okay for you. This doesn’t happen overnight, it’s taken me 30 years and I’m still learning but you have to start somewhere. For me personally, if somebody starts yelling & swearing in a basic disagreement of opinion? That’s a reflag for me personally and I’m all set on the conversation. I’m not yelling back, I’m hanging up. If we just started talking and you ask me for anything that involves nudity? Goodbye. I also no longer EVER consider dating anyone that can’t take care of themselves. I take care of myself, you need to be able to take care of yourself. Then? Maybe if it goes right we grow into taking care of each other. Again, those are just some things that are important to me PERSONALLY. Only you know what YOUR standards are but sadly many people don’t have ANY. Get some.
 RED FLAGS: Stop ignoring them. You know, that one thing a person says and all of your internal warning bells go SICK and you ignore it… Doesn’t it always come back to bite you?
 UNDERSTAND CHANGING PEOPLE IS NOT AN OPTION: This never works and anyone who “changes for you” is an idiot. When you change, it has to be for you. If it’s not a personal desire for someone to stop drinking, smoking, cheating, overeating, etc it won’t last. Men & Women are not your personal social service projects. If they can’t take care of themselves, how are they ever going to help take care of you & vice versa?
 ASK QUESTIONS: It is not against the law to find out what is going on. If you were going to spend your money, you know what you’re buying right? Why do you eat at your favorite restaurant why do you buy those kind of sneakers? Why did you buy this car? You know something about it before you buy it. Relationships are investments. Make informed decisions before you invest.
 RESPECT: The relational bar of respect is evident from the very beginning. It comes across in communication (tone of voice, word choice, body language). Watch the way the person interacts with their family, friends, co-workers, society, etc. It’s a pretty good insight to who they are as a whole.

This is just a small tip of the iceberg. Don’t give up fam…it’s never too late to fix it. I only say that because I am not perfect, I’m not special, and have been through a young marriage that ended in divorce and a stupid adult marriage that ended in annulment and almost cost me my life. I spent almost 2 years, SINGLE. Healing. Then one day out of nowhere, the most amazing friend & person I’ve ever met fell into my lap. It happens Fam…I’m no different then any of you, but I had to start with me. It hurt like hell…but I made it.

Be Blessed-
QTP