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People of God: Hold your position 

This has been in my heart to speak for a few days.  

People of God: 

Don’t give up. Don’t quit. Hold your position, it’s coming. 

May the grace of of lord and savior Jesus Christ be with you always. Amen. 

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#WednesdayWisdom Are you truly a giver?

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We have all heard it’s far better to give then receive and most of us even consider ourselves a giver to some degree. A true giver though, gives out of a genuine place which is a place that has no self serving motives behind it.

A gift is a gift. When the gift giving is used as leverage (I.e brought up later and thrown in someone’s face, or posted on social media so everyone can see you’re a giver, etc) is cancels the kindness, voids the genuine aspect.

I have learned that the true test of giving comes when you do something for someone who can never repay you. Most people relate giving to material things but this isn’t always the case. Most people are comfortable with giving until it makes them uncomfortable.

People are often times more comfortable with giving you a material item before giving you a sincere congratulations. Isn’t that crazy? Most people are okay with buying you a meal, but it’s almost impossible for them to be happy for you, especially if you get something they want or need for themselves. I have found though that this is a true measure of the condition of your heart. Are you able to pray for someone’s healing when you yourself are sick? Are you able to celebrate a marriage if your own is in turmoil? Are you able to congratulate someone’s success while you yourself are grinding away? Now ask yourself, are you truly a giver?

#WednesdayWisdom Are you prepared?

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Are you prepared or are you a bang & fizzle? A bang & fizzle person is someone who has a million ideas, starts with a bang but ends with a fizzle. They never really see anything through to the end and eventually just have a million ideas that have all started with a bang but all ended with a fizzle. I’ve done it myself especially when I was a brand new entrepreneur. I have learned through my years of experience (both successes and failures) that a lot of the time the reason for the fizzle is unpreparedness.

This doesn’t relate to only business though, often times we are not even prepared for the things we desire or are praying for. Sometimes we even can find ourselves frustrated when we have an idea or vision that we feel in our heart is the right thing to do or something God gave us but then it doesn’t quite fall into place like we expect or as quickly as we thought it would. We can’t receive new blessings with an old mindset. People pray for a spouse without making any preparation to actually be a spouse . People want to start a business but never actually sit down and write a business plan. People want to go back to school but never figure out how they’re going to re-arrange their schedule to fit in time for class and homework. People think they’re ready for a promotion but lack the ability to control their own emotions which directly impacts your ability to lead anything. So many people want to break into the music game but never research how much of their own money they’ll have to invest in order to generate a buzz. There’s a whole lot of folks praying for the winning power ball numbers and think all of their problems in life will be solved with millions of dollars but they can’t even wisely manage a tax refund. The list goes on and on.

If you ever sit down with a successful person and ask them how they became so successful, the first thing they’ll normally tell you is about is all the time they were unsuccessful. Don’t compare your journey to someone else’s or envy what someone else has because you have no idea what they went through or sacrificed to get there. If you believe in the vision you have, take the time to prepare for it properly. Do your research, date yourself, learn how to budget, and do whatever else is necessary to help you be in the best position to receive what you’re asking for or working towards.

WAIT!

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The best relationship‬ advice I ever received was, “Don’t settle for Ishmael because God has your Isaac on the way.” At the time I received this advice, I ignored this advice and ended up in the WORST relationship I had ever experienced and almost lost my life. The point is, WAIT ON GOD. Don’t settle, don’t try to help God out, don’t try to hurry Him along, and don’t try to dress up the Ishmael YOU chose and parade him around like he’s Isaac. We can save ourselves a lot of necessary pain, tears, and delay of our promise if we learn to just WAIT.

For those of you who may not be familiar with this bible story I’ll give you a quick overview (strongly encourage you to look it up and read it for yourself it begins Genesis 17) God tells Abraham’s wife Sarah that she’s going to have a baby, she’s already 90 and decides to “help God out” and tells her husband to go into her maid and that’s when Ishmael is born. As you can imagine that didn’t go over too well when the baby got here and there was quite the commotion, and to make a long story short Isaac was born as God had promised and they could have saved themselves a whole bunch of trouble had they had just been patient.

Are you failing at being Single?

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Believe it or not, most people absolutely fail at being single.  Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and a ton of people who are not coupled off took to social media to cry their woes. Being single is a topic most people actually desire more helpful information about but nobody will ask for it, because nobody wants to talk about it. For some reason society has painted us a picture of the ideal time to be engaged, get married, buy a house, have children, etc. and when we don’t live up to “social norms” we somehow have allowed this to make us feel “less than” in the area of relationships. This is especially true for folks who are living for the Lord. Soon as you make the decision to follow Christ and realize that pre-martial sex isn’t a part of the bargain, like clockwork the first thought that passes through most people’s minds is ” I gotta hurry up and get married”. Now before I continue, this blog piece is going to be more of an introduction summary. Reason being is that I actually have a book I’ve been finishing up on this very subject and by the grace of God will be available for purchase early 2017.

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The very basis for my book encompasses answers and strategies for this very problem, most people fail at being single. Did you know that 50% of today’s marriages end in divorce? It is my belief that much of this directly relates to them failing at being single. If you fail at being single, you’re going to make a mess or fail altogether at commitment. “Relationship hopping” is one giant red flag you’re failing at being single. No matter how tough or strong willed you think that you are, anytime you are in a relationship with another person (especially if it becomes sexual) you are exchanging thoughts, time, emotions, experiences, and creating a soul tie. ( and the two shall become one flesh-Genesis 2:24, Mark 10:8) There is a spiritual component inside the scope of relationships that generally most people ignore. We are 3-part beings, we have a physical body, we have a spirit, and we have a soul. Your soul is your emotions, it’s the part of you that remembers your experiences both good and bad and it is the part of you that shapes your reality. The more women a man sleeps with, the more lost he is. Every time the man “releases” he is depositing a part of himself into his partner. The more men a woman sleeps with, the more lost she is. Every time a woman sleeps with a man she receives a deposit from her partner. Reckless behavior with the very intimate beauty of who you were created to be by God Himself can pollute every ounce of your being and make you feel disconnected, drained, hopeless, used, tired, heavy, and cynical. Then what happens? Most people never heal, never let God rid them of the spiritual baggage they’ve inherited and instead they hop from relationship to relationship with every single hurt, pain, and disappointment they’ve ever experienced and even if a new relationship seems like a happy one at first? Eventually those feelings of hurt, pain, rejection, and disappointment reappear. Unfortunately we live in a society that caters to your ego and does not teach self-responsibility and pretty much just tells you “leave if you’re not happy” and instead of ever getting healed people hop from relationship to relationship with outrageous and unrealistic expectations that another person is somehow ultimately responsible for their happiness.

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Most people fail at being single because they don’t have a clue what is is that they need. Everyone has a long list of what they want, but rarely do we ever take the time to include God and ask Him what it is that we NEED. This can’t be successfully found if we are hopping from relationship to relationship and never taking the time to get rid of all the baggage we have picked up over the years physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Many people will pray for a husband or wife but never take the time out to be single and ask God to prepare them to be a husband or a wife. Marriage, relationships, and commitment are a job and a responsibility, real ones anyway. Your happiness is your responsibility, not another person’s. Before committing to another person, if we want the best chances of having a successful commitment we need to learn how to be “whole” by ourselves. Two half people don’t make one whole person but two whole people that come together form a bond that is not easily broken. We have got to seek God and make an effort to have our lives whole before bringing someone else in the picture. If you don’t have regular time you spend with God as a single person don’t expect it to magically appear because you get in a relationship. If you don’t know how to productively occupy free time as a single person, you’re setting yourself up to be absolutely miserable when you find out your partner is incapable of entertaining you every second of everyday. Being single isn’t a disease. It’s far better to be alone then in the wrong relationship.

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We live in a time where everything that flies through our media time lines or television is completely sexualized. Don’t make the mistake of confusing sexualization with committed love because they are two entirely different things. Committed love is not based on a feeling, it is a decision. One of the most important decisions you can make is a decision to not prematurely involve yourself in a relationship until you’re really ready and don’t let what other people are doing or what it appears like everyone else is doing be the standard you adapt for your own relational happiness. For those of you who have experienced a significant trauma (i.e. rape, domestic violence, sexual abuse) it is absolutely necessary for your own peace of mind and your future relationships that you get help and take the proper time to heal before you find yourself in a situation that you’re emotionally unable to handle. If you want to build a strong relationship that will stand the test of time, you have to first make sure that whatever you’re building is on a strong foundation or the house won’t stand. You are the foundation so make sure that you take the time to make sure you are sifted, mixed well, and formed before you start laying down bricks.

Keep a look-out for the full book “Living Successfully Single” by Queen the Prophet in 2017! 

#Love is on the verge of extinction

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I’ve spent the last month or so observing the social “norms” of human behavior both online and in person. I’ve actually been online a lot more then I have been posting and out and about a lot more then I make mention of. I’ve been observing several age groups and since I really have made an effort to disconnect myself from the majority of my music demands and interactions with others, I was able to get a very clear yet disturbing insight on a few things. I even pondered if I should bother writing about it because quite honestly, most people aren’t going to care. Most of the time most people don’t seem to care about anything these days really until it happens to them personally or it’s too late. After that thought passed through my mind I had to rebuke myself because it doesn’t matter if “most people” don’t care, I do and because I do, even if what I’m writing only falls on one set of ears that pays attention it’s worth it.

Let’s start with the basics, if you can honestly look around you at the state of the world and not see that something is very, very wrong? I feel sorry for you. The lack of compassion we have for each other is at an all time disgusting high, people (both young and old) are entirely self absorbed, selfish, and the average human ego is out of control. The number of people on anti-depressants is alarmingly high, most working class people are “working poor”, poor people are kept poor because if they make $5 over a certain number they lose their medical insurance and can’t afford to pay for it out of pocket, the average working person is absolutely exhausted on a daily basis working 40+ hours a week to still struggle with bills, marriages are falling apart, children are being raised by electronics, the future leaders of tomorrow have role models with zero morals, and we all know that organic is the best food to buy because it doesn’t contain harmful poisons yet most people can’t afford the food without poison in it.

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We live in a time where a tiny electronic device allows each individual person to feel like the Mayor of their own little world. Most people, spend most of their day inside their phone, in their private little town. People spend hours taking pictures of themselves and no longer know how to enjoy a moment with their family or friends without making it a social media update while it’s happening. The next time you go out to eat, take a look around you. Most people sit at a table on their phone. Kids no longer know how to use their imagination and play. Nobody goes outside. These small devices are holding people hostage and nobody realizes it or cares. Why don’t they care? Easy, because the entire trap is designed to stroke your ego. It feels good. You like “likes”, you like followers, you like messages, you like comments. Some of you like them so much you’re addicted to them. The sad part is all of this is a distraction. Most of us are so busy in our tiny bubbles, we have no idea what laws are being passed and every major crisis only has the impact of a status update. We have been trained to filter information so fast that it is impossible for us to hold on to anything because we’re being hit with a million things every single day.

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All of what I mentioned above ties into the title. See because of all the things I observed during the last month or so, one thing stuck out to me more than anything else and that was Love. It’s not a secret or a surprise that the Family as a unit has been under attack for years. I firmly believe that what we are witnessing is the manifestation of a well calculated and executed plan that has been in the works for decades. If you distract people from the opportunity to find love or even think about it, you are destroying family. Why attack family? Because strong families make strong communities. Marriage and family aren’t even goals for most people anymore. If you ask people about their goals most of what they start talking about has to do with money. (1 Timothy 6:10 “for the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows” NKJV) 

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If you’ve had the fortunate blessing to have someone 70 or older in your life, then hopefully you’re going to fully grasp the rest of this writing. I would like to hope that most of us have heard a beautiful story at some point in our lives as how maybe our great-grandparents, grandparents, or even our own parents met. Some of us have even known people that met when they were little, grew up, and are still together. At one time the sense of commitment was strong. Families were supported by their community (family, friends, neighbors, church, schools, etc) and marriages withstood the test of time. We now live in a society that caters to our ego and nobody teaches problem solving skills anymore. We are taught to move on to the next thing that makes us “happy” which is the same kind of truth farmer’s use to catch a rat. Farmer’s don’t leave rat traps out in the open, they cover them with a little bit of hay so the rat doesn’t see the trap and gets caught. I am not talking about abuse, it is never okay to tolerate abuse. I am speaking directly of people throwing away marriages due to lack of self-control, boredom, and unrealistic expectations they put on their partner to make them happy. Nobody teaches people how to make themselves happier people in general and folks are finding themselves in “the grass is greener on the other side” syndrome and nine times out of ten if they took the time to water their own grass it would be just as green.

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We live in a microwave world. Everybody wants everything in under sixty seconds and the things that we are giving our time to are not things that are going to sustain us. Everyone is running, running, self absorbed, running, running, and running right into the grave. If you were to take your last breath today, what kind of legacy would you be leaving behind for your family? Have you accomplished all of the things you wanted to accomplish? Are you happy? Did you enjoy your life? Did you spend as much time with the people you love as you would have liked to? If you died today and God gave you a chance to come back but you had to give Him a good reason, what would your reason be? Would it be so you could work more? Post on Facebook one last time? Send out a few more tweets? Buy that one last insignificant piece of expensive crap that consequently didn’t fit in your casket? By the way, while you were so busy running, did you ever happen to get the chance to make time for God and sow into where you’ll spend eternity? When your eyes closed for the final time, did they close with the assurance of where your soul is going?

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I may not have the answers on how to fix the entire world, but I am certainly revealing to you some ways that we can fix ourselves. The point I wanted to make is that we are robbing ourselves of life and the real experiences and opportunities that shape and mold us. We are not being good parents if we giving our kids more gifts then time. We are not building a strong family if we’re too busy for it. We are currently failing the next generation because those of us left with some sense and some good foundation are getting caught up in all of this to a certain degree and as you look down from your age to the age groups behind you, it gets worse by each decade of ages. We need to start remembering the things that gave us the good parts of our foundation, our fond memories and give those experiences and opportunities back to the generation behind us or they will not have them. Think about all of your favorite things from your childhood and then ask yourself what of those are you imparting into your children? If we do not impart these lessons, they will not have them. If we do not allow the opportunity for “nature to take it’s course” and keep trying to control nature it is absolutely going to blow up in our face to a degree nobody is prepared for and it’s already starting to.

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In closing, I hope to some degree this has struck a nerve (or two) in a way that gets you to actually pause, re-evaluate, and do something different. I hope that you do not allow yourself to be a social media hostage and shift it back into the “just for fun” category so that real life doesn’t continue to pass you by. For myself personally, I want to one day be able to tell my future children and grandchildren a story of how I met, fell in love, and married their future father and grandfather, and no where in that story will their be anything ratchet that you see on television or involve social media.

Submit your love story for February via queentheprophet.com!

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Greetings Family!

Since February is the month that most couples celebrate Valentine’s Day, I decided that Love Stories will be the reader blog submission theme for the month.

If you want to submit your love story to be published via queentheprophet.com at NO-CHARGE (except 2/14/14) during the month of February:

  • Write your story and submit via email to queentheprophet@gmail.com put “FEB BLOG” in the subject line
  • Please include any pictures or photos you would  like to include
  • Please also include your Twitter @name if applicable

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$5.00 VALENTINE’S DAY SPECIAL: If you would like to have your love story/ or any special personalized Valentine’s Day message published on Valentine’s Day 2/14/14 the cost is $5.00 (USD). Please send inquiries to queentheprophet@gmail.com NO LATER than February 13, 2014 5:00 p.m. EST

#Relationships101 Keeping the flame lit by @queentheprophet

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Greetings Fam!

Some of you may or may not know that I am an actual relationship counselor / marriage educator but in my opinion since I’ve had so many of my own personal disasters in relationships, it well qualifies me to speak on the subject. I see something with couples over and over and over again that quite frankly it is purely annoying. Have you ever noticed when couples break up, all of the sudden they have a new lease on life? Everybody’s in the gym, getting make-overs, etc. ? I know I’m going to step on some toes, but seriously think about this… did you ever stop and think maybe if you did those things while you were in your relationship you’d still be in one?

Fam there are some relationships that need to be over, don’t  mistake what I’m saying. There are some relationships that both parties have done so much dirt, there really is no healthy way to recover. For some reason most people are under the impression it is the other person’s job to make them happy. It’s not. Your happiness is your job.  A good portion of this is people have no idea how to be single. Being single successfully means that you find meaningful activities in life that you enjoy all by yourself. You know how to take care of you and your business without someone’s help. Ideally, you then should consider these things in a partner before getting involved. Two half people don’t and won’t ever make one whole person. The key to being successfully single is becoming a whole person on your own before you find yourself engaged with another person.

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In a healthy relationship there is mutual love, respect, trust, and decision. Decision means the decision to love & commit. Nobody feels in love all the time and anyone that says they do is a liar. Commitment is a decision. Sometimes it’s a decision we have to remind ourselves of all the time, especially when the flame of love is burning dim. No relationship is perfect and every relationship goes through hard times. There are things though that you can stay on top of in order to help that flame keep burning.

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  • ADMIT WHEN YOU NEED HELP- Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. If your relationship is in trouble, get help. The first relational example people have is their parents.  Nobody’s parents are perfect, but if you have never had a good role model of what a healthy relationship looks like, chances are it’s very difficult for you to nail down what you should be doing. We are products of our environment and we need to be mature enough to realize that consciously or not, it affects us.
  • KEEP YOURSELF RIGHT- Lots of people get too comfortable in relationships. Just because you’re in a committed relationship now, does not mean that you now have a pass to be a slob.  If you and your partner were both always slobs, then slob away. In most cases though, the consistent complaint for both men and women is that their partner does not take care of themselves anymore. Your health and appearance should be a concern of yours. You don’t have to be a runway model or posing for GQ, but you should keep yourself neat, clean, and comb your hair.
  • DATE NIGHT- Even if you have kids, you have to schedule a date night. If money is an issue, go for a walk. Couples need couple time. Family time is different.
  • OUTSIDERS- Stop bringing everyone into your relationship! Married people: STOP ASKING SINGLE PEOPLE OR PEOPLE WHO HAVE NEVER BEEN MARRIED FOR ADVICE! I’m not even going to explain that because if you can’t figure out why that’s the worst idea ever, you may just need to learn on your own.
  • THE FAM- Be very careful what you tell your family & friends. YOUR Family and YOUR friends are always going to be on YOUR  side. It’s not necessary to tell your Sister every time your husband does anything that annoys you because then it automatically annoys her and she’ll be less forgiving because it’s not her husband.  ( Any form of abuse is a whole other story) When you do this, it also puts you at high risk of absorbing someone else’s problems. You ever have that one co-worker that hates work, then all of the sudden before Friday there’s now a clan of people who hate work? Misery loves company.
  • HOW YOU GET EM, IS HOW YOU KEEP EM. – This is my own personal theory. If you’re a guy who calls every morning and every night, you have now set the bar in the relationship that you will always be a communicator. If you’re a woman who cooks for him every night, you have now set the bar that you’re someone who cooks. The beginning of a relationship is crucial time that you unknowingly or not set the standard for what the other person can expect. This works in reverse too though. If the woman doesn’t keep her house decent as a girlfriend, don’t expect her to be a wife or a mother now and magically keep house. If he’s a jobless boyfriend most of the time, don’t expect an employed husband.

I always get chewed out for this comparison at first, but it’s the God’s honest truth. Relationships (all kinds) are business decisions. That relationship is going to be an asset or liability. When an insurance company picks your rate, they give you that rate based on the evidence they have in front of them about you as a driver. Before getting into a relationship, look at what you already know. Some of us could and could have saved ourselves a lot of time and trouble had we done this.

“Relationships are gardens. You can’t expect to harvest what you don’t plant. “- QTP

Be Blessed-

Q

#Relationships101 Check your baggage before boarding!

Check your baggage before boarding!

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If you have ever traveled by airplane you know that your baggage is only allowed to weigh a certain amount or it will not be boarded. Some of your bags are too big to be carry-on’s and must be stored at another part of the plane while some bags you can carry on the plane. Both sets however, must meet the weight requirements. How much trouble would it save us if before we decided to date someone, we could put their soul on a spiritual baggage scale? We’d then know in a moment if this soul was too heavy to fly with.(BRAINFOOD… Pay attention)

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Unfortunatley, lots of us move from relationship to relationship and never check our baggage before boarding. This often times results in us repeating the same cycle in relationships, often with similar patterns or problems. Checking your baggage can be a lengthy and painful process sometimes. Only you and God know what truly has formed your thoughts, behaviors, and emotions over the course of your life. It is not fair for you to get into a relationship with someone else without taking a self inventory of what you’re bringing to the table. Take a look at the list below and answer the following questions honestly.

  • I have been a victim/witness/abuser of child abuse
  • I have been a victim/witness/abuser of sexual abuse
  • I have been a victim/ witness/abuser of domestic violence
  • I have been married before
  • I have been divorced
  • I am legally separated
  • I have no contact with any family
  • I have been homeless
  • I have experienced substance abuse either self or family
  • I have experienced a horrific disaster natural or otherwise
  • I have filed bankruptcy
  • I have been incarcerated
  • I have experienced trouble with the law self or immediate family
  • I have been a victim/witness/abuser of spiritual abuse either by family or ministry
  • I have been adopted
  • I was raised in foster care
  • I have an un-treated mental illness
  • I was raised by family other than my peternal Mother and Father
  • I was raised in a single parent home
  • I have children and have never been married
  • I have unresolved immediate family issues

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All of us (including myself) have experienced these kinds of things in life. These kinds of things chart paths in our lives and sometimes leave lasting impressions. Relationships are most successful when the two people involved are both whole people on their own FIRST. Two half people don’t make two whole. We have to give ourselves permission to heal and ask for help sometimes. I point these things out because unhealed pain from those things can start growing weeds in every other area of your life. Give yourself permission to get to know yourself. It is so unfair to make another person pay for a heart they didn’t break. It’s mostly though, unfair to yourself. Life is short, it’s percious. Live it at it’s maximum capacity, especially in love.

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Be Blessed-

QTP

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#RAWTRUTH101 #Love versus #SEX

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#RAWTRUTH101 #Sex verses #Love
I may step on some toes with this one but the one thing I don’t ever do, is lie to you. Fam, If you’ve read any of my other articles, you already know I speak from a place of both experience and formal education… except in my case, the education came AFTER I already had the experiences.

God designed sex to be an intimate form of expression & bonding between husband & wife. Hence the reason you grow attached to a person when you have sex and if you don’t you’re probably immune to the feelings that go with it because you’ve had so much sex. I’ve also found to be VERY true in ALL CASES the crazier a person is, the more people they’ve had sex with. Now God knows I am no bible thumper and I am a train wreck, this isn’t judgment… it’s the TRUTH. Anything in life you’re exposed to enough, you develop either an understanding of it or you become immune to it because you just get used to it. Pause. Do you know how dangerous this is when we talk about being immune to taking off your clothes and having intercourse? Some of us (too many of us) were ROBBED from ever fully grasping the beauty that is SUPPOSED to come with sex. Some of us (myself included) became the kind of people that just didn’t care. We were immune.

Most relationships today are a joke. People have sex a few times then get together and they have no idea who the other person really is. Sex is spun so freely in every media channel you go through. Folks that can’t handle all the sex being thrown around on social media ARE NOT relationship ready, and if you get into one with a person who is NOT READY, you WILL get your feelings hurt. Fam… what happened to love? For me it didn’t even hit me until the last few years. I started to change. Thinking about having someone touch me who didn’t love me made me sick. For me this was ultra sickening because I was married to a person who didn’t love me and that is a whole other article. The more I studied love, relationships, and analyzing behaviors that worked versus ones that didn’t led me to everything I’m explaining to you now.

Good relationships have good foundations. Good relational foundations are so simple it’s stupid. You have GOT TO be a friend first if you want anything that’s going to last. If you’re okay with someone leaving in the morning, that’s on you. I’m all set. I’m not sharing my body, if we can’t share life. You can’t know my body unless you know my mind. Sex does not keep the lights on, sex does not guarantee that person will be standing next to you in the hospital if you are sick, and if sex was no longer a physical option in your relationship WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE? 50% of marriages these days end in divorce. People do not bother taking the time to get to know somebody then when the storm comes (because it’s LIFE fam. Storms come.), they find out how that person really acts under pressure when money gets low or they get bored in the relationship. Lots of this can be avoided. I say this all the time, people don’t just one day go crazy. They were crazy all along, you ignored it. Let’s take a moment of personal responsibility. Think back to a relationship that ended in disaster. Those signs of disaster were present long before the actual disaster occurred. People settle for the love they THINK they deserve. Incase nobody has ever told you or shown you, healthy relationships do exist and you DESERVE to experience what love was designed to be… a blessing.

Love is not always a feeling. It’s a choice and a decision. Bad days happen fam (Domestic Violence is not a bad day, it’s something else that is very wrong). If you want to experience the fullness of love & life… learn to be single. Take time out and enjoy life. Figure out what it is you want and need in a partner. Let your needs outweigh your wants, because as we know everything we want isn’t always good for us. When you make a choice to love, make sure you have taken the time to get to know the person. Build a healthy foundation of friendship, trust, understanding. It is those things that will help you survive life and the curve balls we get thrown. If you don’t…you are making a conscious decision and be prepared to deal with the consequences.

I kid you not when I tell you after years of bad decisions, bad relationships I finally sat out a few rounds and was single for almost 2 years. Out of nowhere, just when I was truly content with being alone… I met the most amazing human being & friend. I’m sharing this because it’s the TRUTH and I want you to know that it’s possible. I am no better than you, God doesn’t like me better, and I’m still trying to figure out how or why I deserve this. I am blessed that the person in my life is my favorite person to hang out with, talk to, go through life with, laugh with, cry with, share my dreams with, and just about everything else. We have so many activities we enjoy doing together, we never get bored. A small benefit to a long distance relationship is that you HAVE to put the work in to make it work. Communication is a vital part of any relationship success and ours is outstanding. Hell, we even disagree good. When we disagree, it’s not a war… it’s a disagreement with two people that love each other and it ends with us still loving each other because when you learn to communicate like a grown up, you can discuss ANYTHING because you have already established love & respect for the person you’re talking to. I’m telling you this not because you should envy what I have (don’t do that…you have no idea what we went through personally to get here), I want you to have hope. I’ve been with this person about 4 months and we have not had sex and hands down this is the best relationship I’ve ever been in. This relationship has taught me the value of having a partner not just someone to smash. I know that if I was sick, he’d be there. Having that kind of peace of mind, is EXACTLY the kind of foundation you should be building if you really want to experience something that will last.

Be Blessed-
QTP