Blog Archives

60 second advice for life

#Relationships

Can’t move forward living in the past folks. People pray for #husband or #wife but are still picking up the phone every time an X calls…. position yourself to be FULLY equipped for what you’re asking for!

Break Through

Believers often petition God for their “break through”. This is a blanket kind of statement because it’s often used to refer to a spiritual, health, physical, blessing, or financial promise they’re believing God for.

We often get frustrated when God isn’t moving as fast as we in our human reasoning think He should move. I’ve learned the hard way (many times) sometimes we are the ones holding up that “break through” because we are not positioned for it.

I want to share a personal testimony that happened to me recently. Last week I had surgery for the first time in my life. A surgery that I’ve put off for a long time that involved my reproductive capacity. Without this surgery, I would never be able to have a child because physically things were out of order so to speak. I had a word I was hanging on to but I wasn’t in position for it to come to pass.

So I finally allowed myself to be uncomfortable and go through the pain (literally) or putting myself into position. Too often times we want the outcome but not the process. We are responsible to do the possible and what we have control over and it is up to a very capable God to do what is considered impossible by normal human standards.

Everybody wants the joy of Resurrection Sunday but nobody wants to endure the pain of Good Friday. We can’t experience the full joy of life unless we’ve known the pain of death. There are somethings, situations, people, and places that are dead weight in our life but they’ve been there so long it’s become normal or comfortable. On the other side of allowing yourself to be uncomfortable, experience growing pains, feel lonely for just a little while is exactly where you need to be standing in position ready to receive the manifestation of your break through.

#Relationships101 Dating? It’s rough.

Ladies and Gentlemen too… trust me, I KNOW. It’s hard, it’s tough, it’s disappointing and in some cases devastating but you cannot give up. You just can’t. Often times we accept the love we THINK we deserve and God wants you to have the best. That doesn’t mean have unrealistic demands and expectations but don’t settle for a mate that requires assembly either. If you want God’s best? Do it His way. #ThatIsAll #dating #love #marriage #single #men #women

#WednesdayWisdom Results or excuses, you can’t have both.

Did you know the word excuse is actually defined as “an attempt to lessen the blame, seeking relief of a duty, seeking to justify or defend”?

Some of the most common excuses I hear all the time are about loosing weight, saving money, not being able to fully be in a relationship again because they were hurt, and not being able to find a good job. An excuse is basically the same thing as a lie and unfortunately these are lies we most often tell ourselves.

Something becomes an excuse instead of a reason when you honestly haven’t tried everything. God gave us all a beautiful mind and if we truly want results and put our mind to it? It can be done. The question then becomes “How bad do you really want results?”

Everyone’s had their heart broken at least once, choosing to move on, heal, get counseling if need be are all a personal decision that requires a personal commitment. The same thing applies to finding a job. Most people never even bother to tap the free resource of their department of labor, which in many states offers free job training to underemployed adults or out of school youth. Saving money requires self control and discipline. There are so many free resources available online to help you budget, invest & save but people spend more time on social media then they do using the internet as an actual resource.

The point is, if you want to see results in any area of your life it’s going to require a committed decision, not excuses. Hold yourself accountable, ask for help, and utilize every resource available to you before you go throwing in the towel.

People of God: Hold your position 

This has been in my heart to speak for a few days.  

People of God: 

Don’t give up. Don’t quit. Hold your position, it’s coming. 

May the grace of of lord and savior Jesus Christ be with you always. Amen. 

#WednesdayWisdom Are you truly a giver?

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We have all heard it’s far better to give then receive and most of us even consider ourselves a giver to some degree. A true giver though, gives out of a genuine place which is a place that has no self serving motives behind it.

A gift is a gift. When the gift giving is used as leverage (I.e brought up later and thrown in someone’s face, or posted on social media so everyone can see you’re a giver, etc) is cancels the kindness, voids the genuine aspect.

I have learned that the true test of giving comes when you do something for someone who can never repay you. Most people relate giving to material things but this isn’t always the case. Most people are comfortable with giving until it makes them uncomfortable.

People are often times more comfortable with giving you a material item before giving you a sincere congratulations. Isn’t that crazy? Most people are okay with buying you a meal, but it’s almost impossible for them to be happy for you, especially if you get something they want or need for themselves. I have found though that this is a true measure of the condition of your heart. Are you able to pray for someone’s healing when you yourself are sick? Are you able to celebrate a marriage if your own is in turmoil? Are you able to congratulate someone’s success while you yourself are grinding away? Now ask yourself, are you truly a giver?

#WednesdayWisdom Are you prepared?

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Are you prepared or are you a bang & fizzle? A bang & fizzle person is someone who has a million ideas, starts with a bang but ends with a fizzle. They never really see anything through to the end and eventually just have a million ideas that have all started with a bang but all ended with a fizzle. I’ve done it myself especially when I was a brand new entrepreneur. I have learned through my years of experience (both successes and failures) that a lot of the time the reason for the fizzle is unpreparedness.

This doesn’t relate to only business though, often times we are not even prepared for the things we desire or are praying for. Sometimes we even can find ourselves frustrated when we have an idea or vision that we feel in our heart is the right thing to do or something God gave us but then it doesn’t quite fall into place like we expect or as quickly as we thought it would. We can’t receive new blessings with an old mindset. People pray for a spouse without making any preparation to actually be a spouse . People want to start a business but never actually sit down and write a business plan. People want to go back to school but never figure out how they’re going to re-arrange their schedule to fit in time for class and homework. People think they’re ready for a promotion but lack the ability to control their own emotions which directly impacts your ability to lead anything. So many people want to break into the music game but never research how much of their own money they’ll have to invest in order to generate a buzz. There’s a whole lot of folks praying for the winning power ball numbers and think all of their problems in life will be solved with millions of dollars but they can’t even wisely manage a tax refund. The list goes on and on.

If you ever sit down with a successful person and ask them how they became so successful, the first thing they’ll normally tell you is about is all the time they were unsuccessful. Don’t compare your journey to someone else’s or envy what someone else has because you have no idea what they went through or sacrificed to get there. If you believe in the vision you have, take the time to prepare for it properly. Do your research, date yourself, learn how to budget, and do whatever else is necessary to help you be in the best position to receive what you’re asking for or working towards.

WAIT!

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The best relationship‬ advice I ever received was, “Don’t settle for Ishmael because God has your Isaac on the way.” At the time I received this advice, I ignored this advice and ended up in the WORST relationship I had ever experienced and almost lost my life. The point is, WAIT ON GOD. Don’t settle, don’t try to help God out, don’t try to hurry Him along, and don’t try to dress up the Ishmael YOU chose and parade him around like he’s Isaac. We can save ourselves a lot of necessary pain, tears, and delay of our promise if we learn to just WAIT.

For those of you who may not be familiar with this bible story I’ll give you a quick overview (strongly encourage you to look it up and read it for yourself it begins Genesis 17) God tells Abraham’s wife Sarah that she’s going to have a baby, she’s already 90 and decides to “help God out” and tells her husband to go into her maid and that’s when Ishmael is born. As you can imagine that didn’t go over too well when the baby got here and there was quite the commotion, and to make a long story short Isaac was born as God had promised and they could have saved themselves a whole bunch of trouble had they had just been patient.

Are you failing at being Single?

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Believe it or not, most people absolutely fail at being single.  Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and a ton of people who are not coupled off took to social media to cry their woes. Being single is a topic most people actually desire more helpful information about but nobody will ask for it, because nobody wants to talk about it. For some reason society has painted us a picture of the ideal time to be engaged, get married, buy a house, have children, etc. and when we don’t live up to “social norms” we somehow have allowed this to make us feel “less than” in the area of relationships. This is especially true for folks who are living for the Lord. Soon as you make the decision to follow Christ and realize that pre-martial sex isn’t a part of the bargain, like clockwork the first thought that passes through most people’s minds is ” I gotta hurry up and get married”. Now before I continue, this blog piece is going to be more of an introduction summary. Reason being is that I actually have a book I’ve been finishing up on this very subject and by the grace of God will be available for purchase early 2017.

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The very basis for my book encompasses answers and strategies for this very problem, most people fail at being single. Did you know that 50% of today’s marriages end in divorce? It is my belief that much of this directly relates to them failing at being single. If you fail at being single, you’re going to make a mess or fail altogether at commitment. “Relationship hopping” is one giant red flag you’re failing at being single. No matter how tough or strong willed you think that you are, anytime you are in a relationship with another person (especially if it becomes sexual) you are exchanging thoughts, time, emotions, experiences, and creating a soul tie. ( and the two shall become one flesh-Genesis 2:24, Mark 10:8) There is a spiritual component inside the scope of relationships that generally most people ignore. We are 3-part beings, we have a physical body, we have a spirit, and we have a soul. Your soul is your emotions, it’s the part of you that remembers your experiences both good and bad and it is the part of you that shapes your reality. The more women a man sleeps with, the more lost he is. Every time the man “releases” he is depositing a part of himself into his partner. The more men a woman sleeps with, the more lost she is. Every time a woman sleeps with a man she receives a deposit from her partner. Reckless behavior with the very intimate beauty of who you were created to be by God Himself can pollute every ounce of your being and make you feel disconnected, drained, hopeless, used, tired, heavy, and cynical. Then what happens? Most people never heal, never let God rid them of the spiritual baggage they’ve inherited and instead they hop from relationship to relationship with every single hurt, pain, and disappointment they’ve ever experienced and even if a new relationship seems like a happy one at first? Eventually those feelings of hurt, pain, rejection, and disappointment reappear. Unfortunately we live in a society that caters to your ego and does not teach self-responsibility and pretty much just tells you “leave if you’re not happy” and instead of ever getting healed people hop from relationship to relationship with outrageous and unrealistic expectations that another person is somehow ultimately responsible for their happiness.

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Most people fail at being single because they don’t have a clue what is is that they need. Everyone has a long list of what they want, but rarely do we ever take the time to include God and ask Him what it is that we NEED. This can’t be successfully found if we are hopping from relationship to relationship and never taking the time to get rid of all the baggage we have picked up over the years physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Many people will pray for a husband or wife but never take the time out to be single and ask God to prepare them to be a husband or a wife. Marriage, relationships, and commitment are a job and a responsibility, real ones anyway. Your happiness is your responsibility, not another person’s. Before committing to another person, if we want the best chances of having a successful commitment we need to learn how to be “whole” by ourselves. Two half people don’t make one whole person but two whole people that come together form a bond that is not easily broken. We have got to seek God and make an effort to have our lives whole before bringing someone else in the picture. If you don’t have regular time you spend with God as a single person don’t expect it to magically appear because you get in a relationship. If you don’t know how to productively occupy free time as a single person, you’re setting yourself up to be absolutely miserable when you find out your partner is incapable of entertaining you every second of everyday. Being single isn’t a disease. It’s far better to be alone then in the wrong relationship.

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We live in a time where everything that flies through our media time lines or television is completely sexualized. Don’t make the mistake of confusing sexualization with committed love because they are two entirely different things. Committed love is not based on a feeling, it is a decision. One of the most important decisions you can make is a decision to not prematurely involve yourself in a relationship until you’re really ready and don’t let what other people are doing or what it appears like everyone else is doing be the standard you adapt for your own relational happiness. For those of you who have experienced a significant trauma (i.e. rape, domestic violence, sexual abuse) it is absolutely necessary for your own peace of mind and your future relationships that you get help and take the proper time to heal before you find yourself in a situation that you’re emotionally unable to handle. If you want to build a strong relationship that will stand the test of time, you have to first make sure that whatever you’re building is on a strong foundation or the house won’t stand. You are the foundation so make sure that you take the time to make sure you are sifted, mixed well, and formed before you start laying down bricks.

Keep a look-out for the full book “Living Successfully Single” by Queen the Prophet in 2017!