We need more encouragers. This world has enough people & situations that try to ruin, hurt, shame, & break you. Imagine if we all lifted each other up instead. An important thing to remember though, is sometimes the encouragement you need is someone in love, telling you about yourself. What kind of help is it to allow you to believe you never do anything wrong? WE ALL DO. The wise people will love you for rebuking them & a fool will hate you for it (Proverbs 9:8)
Love yourself from the inside out sounds kind of funny to say, but no piece of advice you’ll ever receive about loving YOU will ever be better. This came to me earlier today because I was taking a long look in the mirror and I had a moment that I actually embraced the fullness of how much God loves me. My whole life kinda flashed before my eyes (both good and bad) and I realized how thankful I am for my life, victories, defeats, trials, good, bad, blessings, lessons, and the process. Most of us have heard over and over that God loves us no matter what, He gave his life for us (John 3;16) but I don’t think I’m alone in the boat when I say although I heard that, it really didn’t mean that life changing “ah-ha!” like it should have. For most people, it is extremely difficult to fully comprehend an all loving creator that you can’t see when most of your life most of the experiences you’ve had paint a very different picture about the world. It can be drowning, exhausting, depressing, etc. What we forget most of the time that we as human beings are made up of 3-parts (Spirit, Soul, Body).
A lot of people leave out the Spirit part and say mind and soul which are actually the same thing. Your soul includes your mind because it’s the part of you that your memory, emotions, and free-will are. Your soul is the part of you that experiences the emotional side of your life that your physical body lives. So when your physical body’s life experiences rejection, abuse, hurts, disappointments, pains, etc. the memory of it lives in your soul (your mind). Just because something doesn’t haunt us on a daily basis anymore doesn’t mean that we’re over it. A lot of people experience things and unless you looked very closely or knew what to look for (i.e. close enough to know someone has trust issues) you’d never know that it still exists. So when we find out God loves us, that’s good news and our spirit receives it, but most of us can’t even comprehend what that even really means because our souls are busting at the seams with contrary information. What happens then is our spirit wakes up and begins to try to climb it’s way out of the quicksand of our soul. I use this analogy because this is exactly what it can feel like on the inside when you make a decision to follow Christ but there’s that “thing” that keeps blocking you from experiencing the fullness of it. (We’ll get into the “How thick is your soul’s quicksand” in another article)
We are constantly fed through media outlets “the quick fix” for just about every problem we can create. The truth of the matter is, the quick fix isn’t always the best fix. You can’t put a band-aid on a broken leg. Sometimes the real reason we can’t fully receive God’s love, is because in all honesty we have no idea what love is actually supposed to look like. The hardest person to love, is always going to be yourself. Loving yourself has nothing to do with being conceited or running around in designer shoes with a T-Shirt stating “I woke up like this”. Loving yourself is the inner sense of knowing that you are unique, precious, and irreplaceable to the creator of the universe and He wants nothing but the best for you no matter what has happened, what you’ve done, what you have accomplished, what you’ve failed at, in your brokenness, and in all your flaws He loves you. Loving yourself from the inside out encompasses everything from allowing God into the secret cracks and crevices of your soul, letting him into every memory, hurt, pain, attitude, or poor self images you have collected or been given over the years, all the way to the food you feed your body.We have been mislead thinking the answers to it all was to make it look good on the outside because that’s what everyone sees. What good does it do you to put lipstick on a pig or a fresh hair cut on a bag of rotten garbage? Isn’t it still a pig? Isn’t it still garbage?
Take sometime to really search out the things that have or still hurt you. Be honest with yourself and be honest with God. There is no problem you can bring to him that He can’t or won’t fix, but it has to start with you. When you can begin to see yourself the way God see’s you, the outside will eventually catch up to your inside. The happier you are on the inside will begin to change what’s projected outwardly.
It’s been awhile since I’ve updated the blog, but here I am!
Over the next week or so I’m going to post some back dated stuff that should have gone up already, so bare with me! Pretty much the entire month of April I was out of commission due to health reasons, and that was some scary stuff but by the grace of God all is well.
Having some in-hospital time really can pause you and cause you to change your perspective on a lot of things. For me this was the first time I was ever bed ridden and let me tell you, sitting still has never been a strength of mine (just ask any of my elementary school teachers) so this was entirely new for me. My situation also posed a set of challenges that most people don’t have to deal with. My significant other walks with a cane so naturally me being the primary caregiver in my home and being unable to do so scared me to death. I actually had to hit a point within myself during the hospital stay where I realized there were somethings I just did not and could not do anything about because of my circumstances and I had to just deal with it. Funny thing though, as soon as I got at peace with having no control over my situation, is when God stepped in. I have got to say though, the grace of God is a beautiful thing. Grace is favor just because. Not because we deserve it or did anything special, just because. What looked like it was going to be a disaster actually worked in our favor! My Hunny learned how to become a lot more independent then before, I actually got some much needed rest, and some folks we least expected stepped in to help and overall? It was quite the experience.
So glad to be back though! Peace & Blessings to you & yours!
This blog is multi purposeful right now and I do believe it will be right on time. I think at this point, just about everyone I know (myself included) is going THROUGH IT. Not just like regular things, extra things. The series of unfortunate events that you look up at the sky towards God and scream “UM HELLO? Anytime you’d like to step in now…”
DO YOU TRUST GOD? Ask yourself that seriously. Most of us only kind of do. You trust him because it sounds good, but do you REALLY trust him in your finances? In your marriage? Waiting on a mate? You get the point. What makes something faith is the fact that you can’t see it, you KNOW it. (Hebrews 11:1 Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen) When you doubt, you kick the door wide open for fear which cripples your faith. You either believe God’s got you, or you don’t. See, don’t confuse faith with your feelings. You don’t always “feel” spiritual, God’s presence, secure, in love, or anything else. Everything in your life especially faith is a choice and a decision. You are under no obligation to trust God at all.
When you ask God for faith, He doesn’t wave a wand and give you faith. Situations begin to present themselves for you to exercise your faith. If you tell God that “if you were rich you’d do this & this.” What good is that? The key to unlocking blessing in your life plain and simple is to be a blessing, especially when it’s harder for you to do. These things make your character. These situations are the very things that turn up the heat and melt your imperfections and make you better. A lesson will keep repeating it’s self until you’ve mastered it.
Your test becomes your testimony. A set back is a set up for something better. If the struggle is real right now? You better thank God and keep your composure because your blessing is on the way. Did you ever stop and think, the outcome of your reward is calculated from your response to the test? Why do you deserve to be rich if you never help anybody now? If we gave you a million, you’d be just as selfish as you are now except with a million dollars & since you don’t care because you’d have a million, is exactly the reason you don’t have it now. We will never understand everything and in case you haven’t noticed, God does not always come when you want him to, but he is ALWAYS on time. He has a highly esteemed reputation for never letting anyone down and He certainly isn’t going to mess that up for you.
There is a lot of people in this world way more messed up then you. The Holidays is a time of year many, many people suffer from suicidal tendencies and depression. An entire town in Connecticut will mourn the anniversary of children who were killed last year, even the children who were hidden in other rooms but heard the shots fired that killed their friends. Pause. Now what exactly was your problem again? I strongly encourage you to muster up some strength & faith, push past the way you feel and be a blessing to someone else. You won’t be sorry you did and whatever it is that’s your issue right now? God’s got it. Promise.
There is a lesson in life that we all must learn. Guard your heart. This doesn’t mean be paranoid, but there are some things that are just a reality. People can talk a good one, hell, they more then likley mean it when they say it while others say the right things, but there’s always a hidden agenda. Human beings are flawed and they always will be. Guarding your heart I have learned is as simple as understanding things that people do or say that hurt you? Nine times out of ten is about THEM and has little to do with you.
This wisdom I didn’t learn overnight and although I get paid to understand it on a career level, it doesn’t stop it from happening to me personally, but it does get easier to let go and move on. People are like onions. They have many layers. It is not until you start peeling back those layers that you find out all of the things that make up the entire person. Folks are messed up. They walk around with resentment, anger, jealousy, and all kinds of other stuff. It doesn’t make them bad people, but being on the other side of the table, recognize all of the things that make up a person and their perception. Everyone’s reality is different. People’s reality is made up of their personal thoughts, emotions, & experiences. Those things exsist in their soul and there is little you can ever do to change that, that’s between them and God. Until a person is truly willing to look in the mirror, things don’t change. Most people are so scared to examine themselves that instead of doing that, they rally a bunch of other folks just as messed up in their hearts as them and make themselves “feel” better about their actions.
In order to properly protect yourself, understand the whole culture of a person and don’t expect healthy emotion and reasoning from a person whose actions show you someone who is not. You will save yourself a lot of stress this way. I remember a time when I would turn things over and over in my mind and analyze until I couldn’t sleep. I no longer have this problem. Doesn’t mean I’m perfect, I just value my heart and peace of mind and I’m going to protect what God has given me with my life. “You can have “those” moments, but don’t stay in those moments. Those moments don’t define your life.” – Yolanda Adams
Be Blessed –
I am the daughter of a King. Right, wrong, or indifferent I am the daughter of a King.
When I struggle, when I fall, when I make the same mistakes, I am the daughter of a King.
In my trails, in my tests, even when I’m not my best, I am the daughter of a King.
My heavenly birth certificate can never be misplaced, even if I misplace it, I am the daughter of a King. He loves me at my best, even more at my worst, comforts me through smiles and hurts, I am the daughter of a King.
Some may think it’s vain that I wear a crown instead of a cross…I don’t wear the cross because I always know who He is, sometimes I forget who I am. I am the daughter of a King.
Check your baggage before boarding!
If you have ever traveled by airplane you know that your baggage is only allowed to weigh a certain amount or it will not be boarded. Some of your bags are too big to be carry-on’s and must be stored at another part of the plane while some bags you can carry on the plane. Both sets however, must meet the weight requirements. How much trouble would it save us if before we decided to date someone, we could put their soul on a spiritual baggage scale? We’d then know in a moment if this soul was too heavy to fly with.(BRAINFOOD… Pay attention)
Unfortunatley, lots of us move from relationship to relationship and never check our baggage before boarding. This often times results in us repeating the same cycle in relationships, often with similar patterns or problems. Checking your baggage can be a lengthy and painful process sometimes. Only you and God know what truly has formed your thoughts, behaviors, and emotions over the course of your life. It is not fair for you to get into a relationship with someone else without taking a self inventory of what you’re bringing to the table. Take a look at the list below and answer the following questions honestly.
- I have been a victim/witness/abuser of child abuse
- I have been a victim/witness/abuser of sexual abuse
- I have been a victim/ witness/abuser of domestic violence
- I have been married before
- I have been divorced
- I am legally separated
- I have no contact with any family
- I have been homeless
- I have experienced substance abuse either self or family
- I have experienced a horrific disaster natural or otherwise
- I have filed bankruptcy
- I have been incarcerated
- I have experienced trouble with the law self or immediate family
- I have been a victim/witness/abuser of spiritual abuse either by family or ministry
- I have been adopted
- I was raised in foster care
- I have an un-treated mental illness
- I was raised by family other than my peternal Mother and Father
- I was raised in a single parent home
- I have children and have never been married
- I have unresolved immediate family issues
All of us (including myself) have experienced these kinds of things in life. These kinds of things chart paths in our lives and sometimes leave lasting impressions. Relationships are most successful when the two people involved are both whole people on their own FIRST. Two half people don’t make two whole. We have to give ourselves permission to heal and ask for help sometimes. I point these things out because unhealed pain from those things can start growing weeds in every other area of your life. Give yourself permission to get to know yourself. It is so unfair to make another person pay for a heart they didn’t break. It’s mostly though, unfair to yourself. Life is short, it’s percious. Live it at it’s maximum capacity, especially in love.