Blog Archives

Priorities

There are just somethings in life we can’t fully comprehend until we get there. As we are fortunate enough to be alive decade to decade our priorities should shift. Notice I said SHOULD.

I was thinking about how at one time in my life my career and entrepreneurial endeavors were thee most important thing in my world but as I’ve gotten older, the value of my actual life outside of work took its place.

There is nothing wrong with work ethic and I’m a huge advocate for being a good employee or employer. However, what you allow to be the things that weigh on your heart and mind on a daily basis should be the things that are completely irreplaceable . Sometimes we need to shift our priorities and put boundaries in place so that we do not end up having a list of regrets at the end of our lives.

Your time with your children can’t be replaced, they only grow once. The time with your loved ones only comes around once in a lifetime. Your relationship with God is what sustains you through good times and the inevitable hard times. So, I invite you to examine your priorities and make sure that you’re happy with the order of that list.

Are you failing at being Single?

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Believe it or not, most people absolutely fail at being single.  Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and a ton of people who are not coupled off took to social media to cry their woes. Being single is a topic most people actually desire more helpful information about but nobody will ask for it, because nobody wants to talk about it. For some reason society has painted us a picture of the ideal time to be engaged, get married, buy a house, have children, etc. and when we don’t live up to “social norms” we somehow have allowed this to make us feel “less than” in the area of relationships. This is especially true for folks who are living for the Lord. Soon as you make the decision to follow Christ and realize that pre-martial sex isn’t a part of the bargain, like clockwork the first thought that passes through most people’s minds is ” I gotta hurry up and get married”. Now before I continue, this blog piece is going to be more of an introduction summary. Reason being is that I actually have a book I’ve been finishing up on this very subject and by the grace of God will be available for purchase early 2017.

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The very basis for my book encompasses answers and strategies for this very problem, most people fail at being single. Did you know that 50% of today’s marriages end in divorce? It is my belief that much of this directly relates to them failing at being single. If you fail at being single, you’re going to make a mess or fail altogether at commitment. “Relationship hopping” is one giant red flag you’re failing at being single. No matter how tough or strong willed you think that you are, anytime you are in a relationship with another person (especially if it becomes sexual) you are exchanging thoughts, time, emotions, experiences, and creating a soul tie. ( and the two shall become one flesh-Genesis 2:24, Mark 10:8) There is a spiritual component inside the scope of relationships that generally most people ignore. We are 3-part beings, we have a physical body, we have a spirit, and we have a soul. Your soul is your emotions, it’s the part of you that remembers your experiences both good and bad and it is the part of you that shapes your reality. The more women a man sleeps with, the more lost he is. Every time the man “releases” he is depositing a part of himself into his partner. The more men a woman sleeps with, the more lost she is. Every time a woman sleeps with a man she receives a deposit from her partner. Reckless behavior with the very intimate beauty of who you were created to be by God Himself can pollute every ounce of your being and make you feel disconnected, drained, hopeless, used, tired, heavy, and cynical. Then what happens? Most people never heal, never let God rid them of the spiritual baggage they’ve inherited and instead they hop from relationship to relationship with every single hurt, pain, and disappointment they’ve ever experienced and even if a new relationship seems like a happy one at first? Eventually those feelings of hurt, pain, rejection, and disappointment reappear. Unfortunately we live in a society that caters to your ego and does not teach self-responsibility and pretty much just tells you “leave if you’re not happy” and instead of ever getting healed people hop from relationship to relationship with outrageous and unrealistic expectations that another person is somehow ultimately responsible for their happiness.

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Most people fail at being single because they don’t have a clue what is is that they need. Everyone has a long list of what they want, but rarely do we ever take the time to include God and ask Him what it is that we NEED. This can’t be successfully found if we are hopping from relationship to relationship and never taking the time to get rid of all the baggage we have picked up over the years physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Many people will pray for a husband or wife but never take the time out to be single and ask God to prepare them to be a husband or a wife. Marriage, relationships, and commitment are a job and a responsibility, real ones anyway. Your happiness is your responsibility, not another person’s. Before committing to another person, if we want the best chances of having a successful commitment we need to learn how to be “whole” by ourselves. Two half people don’t make one whole person but two whole people that come together form a bond that is not easily broken. We have got to seek God and make an effort to have our lives whole before bringing someone else in the picture. If you don’t have regular time you spend with God as a single person don’t expect it to magically appear because you get in a relationship. If you don’t know how to productively occupy free time as a single person, you’re setting yourself up to be absolutely miserable when you find out your partner is incapable of entertaining you every second of everyday. Being single isn’t a disease. It’s far better to be alone then in the wrong relationship.

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We live in a time where everything that flies through our media time lines or television is completely sexualized. Don’t make the mistake of confusing sexualization with committed love because they are two entirely different things. Committed love is not based on a feeling, it is a decision. One of the most important decisions you can make is a decision to not prematurely involve yourself in a relationship until you’re really ready and don’t let what other people are doing or what it appears like everyone else is doing be the standard you adapt for your own relational happiness. For those of you who have experienced a significant trauma (i.e. rape, domestic violence, sexual abuse) it is absolutely necessary for your own peace of mind and your future relationships that you get help and take the proper time to heal before you find yourself in a situation that you’re emotionally unable to handle. If you want to build a strong relationship that will stand the test of time, you have to first make sure that whatever you’re building is on a strong foundation or the house won’t stand. You are the foundation so make sure that you take the time to make sure you are sifted, mixed well, and formed before you start laying down bricks.

Keep a look-out for the full book “Living Successfully Single” by Queen the Prophet in 2017! 

#WisdomFromTheThrone: The Pursuit of Happiness

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Do you even really know what the pursuit of happiness means?

You should. It’s personal.

Fam let me shed some light in a dark place…. I’m not sure who lied to us, but there is no point to EVER try and live up to someone else’s definition of happiness. You won’t ever be able to. Happiness is personal. The world makes us believe if we’re not married by this age, or have a house, or have this kind of car that we never will and we will just be rejects of society because we haven’t “arrived”. Let me tell you something, some of the happiest people in the world go home every night and stink to high heaven because they were shoveling cow poop all day.

Ask yourself this…. are you fulfilled? Do you have peace in your home? Do you have rest in your soul at night? Do you have meaningful relationships in your life? Do you have faith? Fam… even if you never see the outside of the city you live in, if you have those things you are wealthier than most folks who spend money on crap they don’t  need in order to impress people who they don’t like. If you don’t have those things, you might want to examine the goals you have set for yourself.

Mark Twain said something along the lines of the most significant two days in your life is the day you were born and the day you figure out why. There is nothing wrong with success and wealth. If you’ve read anything about #OPERATIONREVOLUTION you know we believe EVERYONE is entitled to some of it, that’s why we’re successful. Whatever it is you choose to follow in your life, make sure your passion is appropriately placed. You can love something but have no passion for it. We all have passion for something… it’s that thing that makes you zone out, it holds your focus, you never get tired of it, it becomes everything of who you are. Passion with no love is dangerous. But when you have passion for the thing (or person) you love…. you can literally feel the forces of the earth moving. You know I’m telling you the truth…..

All I suggest is if you are trying to find happiness, stop listening to everyone else and start doing some soul-searching. Words or opinions of other people can hurt you or drive you nuts if you let them. If today you stood before God, would any of those things matter? If you were able to go back and get more time …… I highly doubt anywhere on your agenda would be people pleasing. But whatever was on that list of things you’d go back to do…. start paying more attention to those NOW. Have those stable and my dears you will find happiness.

Be Blessed-

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