Blog Archives
Podcast Clip for Trauma Survivors
Dear Men #HappyFathersDay
Since Father’s Day is approaching I wanted to take a moment and post something that was for the men specifically. I for one am a little sick and tired of everyone always beating on the men. There are good men and there’s not just five, there’s a lot of them. If you happen to be someone that can’t find one it’s probably where you’re looking and if you can’t seem to stop picking bad ones then sweetheart with all due respect, the problem isn’t them it’s you. I understand there are some dead beats out there, but there’s good and bad in every kind under the sun and maybe you have never met a dead beat mom but they exist far more then ever gets acknowledged. Domestic Violence is bad, people should never beat on each other but that goes for women too. As an actual DV survivor? Nothing ticks me off more then a woman who abuses a man continuously emotionally and physically until he explodes and then pulls the woman card. You women are disgraceful and what you’re doing is selfish because there are actually women who stalked, held hostage, and killed. So when you can’t keep your hands to yourself because you have emotional problems you haven’t dealt with yet… but I’m gonna leave that alone until another post.
Society has managed to do something pretty awful. Something that if it was corrected would solve A LOT of the issues going on in the world today. Men have been victims of an all out war waged against them by the devil himself. God created man in His image and likeness. Not angels or anything else. God created man. God created woman out of man. If we look back over the last 20-years society has always been constructed to assassinate the man. Everything is designed for them to fail. Images of them with absolutely no self-control when it comes to sex get shoved down their throat at a very early age and almost every main stream music, movie, or product is strategically designed to portray them as an animal, giving you the impression that their life revolves around women, sex, beer, and sports. There is a generation of women that actually believe it’s okay for a man to cheat because “that’s what (insert race or negative term about a man of your choice) men do”. Then in the 90’s they were fed the womanizing gangster mentality and thus the “independent woman” “single mom” came into full swing as the “norm” and women got so independent they began to not need a man at all so when we rolled in to 2000 they just began sharing clothes since the roles had almost completely reversed and women now believe that they don’t need a man for anything.
So… I could get into so much more but that’s not what the purpose of this post is. I wanted to take some time out and speak a word of encouragement to the men. Not every woman thinks she doesn’t need one of you. In fact, there is a whole bunch of us who believe in who God called and created you to be. So on behalf of those women (and I assure you there are at least a million of us) I want you to know that the world is desperately in need of you to rise up and recognize the authority that God has placed inside of you. God created you to be so much stronger then you were probably ever taught that you were. When God gave Adam dominion over the earth, he was giving it to you so if you get yourself aligned (John 3:16) you absolutely already have everything inside of you to right a lot of wrongs.
Being the best at everything or allowing your value to come from material status and possessions is only a comforting goal for fools. These things are irrelevant to a man of God because he understands he was made in the image and likeness of his creator and everything he needs to be a man, husband, & father has already been placed inside of him with the maximum amount needed for greatness. Greatness is inside of you because God put it there and the only thing you really need to do is find it and activate it.
Happy Father’s Day
WAIT!
The best relationship advice I ever received was, “Don’t settle for Ishmael because God has your Isaac on the way.” At the time I received this advice, I ignored this advice and ended up in the WORST relationship I had ever experienced and almost lost my life. The point is, WAIT ON GOD. Don’t settle, don’t try to help God out, don’t try to hurry Him along, and don’t try to dress up the Ishmael YOU chose and parade him around like he’s Isaac. We can save ourselves a lot of necessary pain, tears, and delay of our promise if we learn to just WAIT.
For those of you who may not be familiar with this bible story I’ll give you a quick overview (strongly encourage you to look it up and read it for yourself it begins Genesis 17) God tells Abraham’s wife Sarah that she’s going to have a baby, she’s already 90 and decides to “help God out” and tells her husband to go into her maid and that’s when Ishmael is born. As you can imagine that didn’t go over too well when the baby got here and there was quite the commotion, and to make a long story short Isaac was born as God had promised and they could have saved themselves a whole bunch of trouble had they had just been patient.
Are you failing at being Single?
Believe it or not, most people absolutely fail at being single. Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and a ton of people who are not coupled off took to social media to cry their woes. Being single is a topic most people actually desire more helpful information about but nobody will ask for it, because nobody wants to talk about it. For some reason society has painted us a picture of the ideal time to be engaged, get married, buy a house, have children, etc. and when we don’t live up to “social norms” we somehow have allowed this to make us feel “less than” in the area of relationships. This is especially true for folks who are living for the Lord. Soon as you make the decision to follow Christ and realize that pre-martial sex isn’t a part of the bargain, like clockwork the first thought that passes through most people’s minds is ” I gotta hurry up and get married”. Now before I continue, this blog piece is going to be more of an introduction summary. Reason being is that I actually have a book I’ve been finishing up on this very subject and by the grace of God will be available for purchase early 2017.
The very basis for my book encompasses answers and strategies for this very problem, most people fail at being single. Did you know that 50% of today’s marriages end in divorce? It is my belief that much of this directly relates to them failing at being single. If you fail at being single, you’re going to make a mess or fail altogether at commitment. “Relationship hopping” is one giant red flag you’re failing at being single. No matter how tough or strong willed you think that you are, anytime you are in a relationship with another person (especially if it becomes sexual) you are exchanging thoughts, time, emotions, experiences, and creating a soul tie. ( and the two shall become one flesh-Genesis 2:24, Mark 10:8) There is a spiritual component inside the scope of relationships that generally most people ignore. We are 3-part beings, we have a physical body, we have a spirit, and we have a soul. Your soul is your emotions, it’s the part of you that remembers your experiences both good and bad and it is the part of you that shapes your reality. The more women a man sleeps with, the more lost he is. Every time the man “releases” he is depositing a part of himself into his partner. The more men a woman sleeps with, the more lost she is. Every time a woman sleeps with a man she receives a deposit from her partner. Reckless behavior with the very intimate beauty of who you were created to be by God Himself can pollute every ounce of your being and make you feel disconnected, drained, hopeless, used, tired, heavy, and cynical. Then what happens? Most people never heal, never let God rid them of the spiritual baggage they’ve inherited and instead they hop from relationship to relationship with every single hurt, pain, and disappointment they’ve ever experienced and even if a new relationship seems like a happy one at first? Eventually those feelings of hurt, pain, rejection, and disappointment reappear. Unfortunately we live in a society that caters to your ego and does not teach self-responsibility and pretty much just tells you “leave if you’re not happy” and instead of ever getting healed people hop from relationship to relationship with outrageous and unrealistic expectations that another person is somehow ultimately responsible for their happiness.
Most people fail at being single because they don’t have a clue what is is that they need. Everyone has a long list of what they want, but rarely do we ever take the time to include God and ask Him what it is that we NEED. This can’t be successfully found if we are hopping from relationship to relationship and never taking the time to get rid of all the baggage we have picked up over the years physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Many people will pray for a husband or wife but never take the time out to be single and ask God to prepare them to be a husband or a wife. Marriage, relationships, and commitment are a job and a responsibility, real ones anyway. Your happiness is your responsibility, not another person’s. Before committing to another person, if we want the best chances of having a successful commitment we need to learn how to be “whole” by ourselves. Two half people don’t make one whole person but two whole people that come together form a bond that is not easily broken. We have got to seek God and make an effort to have our lives whole before bringing someone else in the picture. If you don’t have regular time you spend with God as a single person don’t expect it to magically appear because you get in a relationship. If you don’t know how to productively occupy free time as a single person, you’re setting yourself up to be absolutely miserable when you find out your partner is incapable of entertaining you every second of everyday. Being single isn’t a disease. It’s far better to be alone then in the wrong relationship.
We live in a time where everything that flies through our media time lines or television is completely sexualized. Don’t make the mistake of confusing sexualization with committed love because they are two entirely different things. Committed love is not based on a feeling, it is a decision. One of the most important decisions you can make is a decision to not prematurely involve yourself in a relationship until you’re really ready and don’t let what other people are doing or what it appears like everyone else is doing be the standard you adapt for your own relational happiness. For those of you who have experienced a significant trauma (i.e. rape, domestic violence, sexual abuse) it is absolutely necessary for your own peace of mind and your future relationships that you get help and take the proper time to heal before you find yourself in a situation that you’re emotionally unable to handle. If you want to build a strong relationship that will stand the test of time, you have to first make sure that whatever you’re building is on a strong foundation or the house won’t stand. You are the foundation so make sure that you take the time to make sure you are sifted, mixed well, and formed before you start laying down bricks.
Keep a look-out for the full book “Living Successfully Single” by Queen the Prophet in 2017!
@houseofestherct 2nd Annual Winter Drive accepting donations!
House of Esther International kicks off it’s 2nd Annual Winter Drive to purchase blankets and socks for homeless residents in Connecticut and New York City areas. Every little bit helps, even $1 buys a pair of insulated socks for someone in need.
Many homeless individuals are battling untreated mental illness and at least half of homeless women and children are fleeing domestic violence.Consider being a blessing and check out the Go Fund Me page for this year’s drive! http://www.gofundme.com/HEwinterDrive
Shelter information for New York:
http://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/cgi-bin/id/city.cgi?city=New%20York&state=NY
Shelter information for Connecticut:
#Relationships101 Warning Signs by @queentheprophet
This may be my first blog that turns into a slow rant yet a testimony. I saw something today that disturbed my spirit enough to write about it.
Today I happened to see a name fly through one of my social media pages that almost made me throw-up. My regular blog readers already know that I am a huge advocate for Domestic Violence, been trained as a DV counselor, and am also a DV survivor. I was married to someone for a very short period of time who was a childhood sweetheart and who also tried to kill me twice and one of the two times held me hostage for over 4-hours. Needless to say Fam, we live & we learn. The scary part is when people don’t learn.
So I saw this guy’s name fly through my news feed and what I saw made me sad. The kind of sad you get when you KNOW something terrible is going to come out of a situation. I saw a young lady posting all these “Free so-n-so” and quoting lines that the above mentioned nut job has been using since he & I were kids, posting jail mail graffiti name drawings (his notorious jail calling card) Surprise, surprise he was also apparently in jail … which is really not a surprise because in the 20 years I’ve known him, that’s where he usually spends most of his time. The most sickening part was this young lady post statements like “after everything you’ve been through…” I just shook my head. The person she was speaking of has a publicly known track record for beating women bloody (which of course I found out too late obviously).
Here’s my question though, if you meet a new person and you catch wind of a DV history and multiple ones at that, does it ever occur to you that that’s a warning sign? Most people will play it off and blame a “crazy baby mother/father” which is fine and in some cases true. If you research statistics though, once someone has determined that communicating with violence in intimate relationships is okay, they do it to multiple people.
My Mother used to say “a leopard doesn’t change it’s spots”, I agree to a certain degree. I’m a believer that with God all things are possible and if I didn’t there wouldn’t be any hope for me either then because nobody is perfect. However, some folks ain’t livin right and aren’t even trying for that matter. There are simple common sense things though that we should pay attention to.
Ladies & Gentlemen (because Lord knows there are plenty of men that get hit by women and not too many people address it, but it does happen and women can absolutely be abusive. 9 out of 10 times a victim of domestic violence that is in need of healing and doesn’t get it will then attach herself to a man she can control as a way of getting back the control that was stolen, just like men with a history of child abuse statistically often grow up to become abusers) if the person your dating has a history of domestic violence, investigate. It might save your life.
Be Blessed-
Q
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE @queentheprophet GHETTO GOVT 1st Lady #TEAMQUEEN #DaughtersOfZion calls 4 old cell phones
Greeting Fam-
As some of you may or may not know, I am a certified Battered Women’s Counselor as well as a survivor of Domestic Violence. In 2005, I lost a very special friend at the hands of her husband. He stabbed my friend multiple times and killed her… because she wouldn’t give him money for drugs. You didn’t know Adrienne, but I did. She was always smiling. She worked with people with disabilities and just like a human service professional, linked up with a man that needed her help too. She loved the Lord and was one of those people that if you asked her to pray, she’d stop and do it. I remember when I told her I was getting married… she left work, went home and got her wedding dress and made me try it on in the office. That was the last time I saw her.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness month and although it’s a few months away, it’s never too early to get started. Old cell phones are used by DV shelters and hotlines to offer victims (both male & female victims) a safety plan. The phones can only dial 911 and are often the link that saves lives.
On behalf of Ghetto Govt #TeamQueen Daughters of Zion, I will be collecting old cell phones from now until 10/3/13 to donate to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. If you would like to donate a phone or collect multiple phones to donate, please email queentheprophet@hotmail.com put DV PHONES in the subject line. If you are in need of help and have questions about where you can get it, (In Connecticut) dial Infoline 211 for 24/7 crisis counselors and referral specialists.
Outside of Connecticut, contact the NATIONAL COALITION AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
Be Blessed-
#NationalPoetryMonth @queentheprophet delivers “Journey 2 the throne”
Journey to the throne…..
My Sisters, My Queens, Yes I’m talking to you.
Only the ones who can relate to what this Queen’s gone through.
If your life has been perfect, well then that’s good for you.
I’d never wish on another the things I knew.
My past was in darkness, the worst parts of myself.
Now I look back like it was somebody else.
If the blows start coming when you’re just a little girl,
Meteor shower damage it can do to your world.
If you’ve ever been touched because ignored was your no,
Very easy it is to detach from your soul.
If a man said love but put a fist to your face,
It’s not easy to remove from your memory place.
You swore off love to never feel it again,
Last time you did, he slept with your friend.
If you lived through a life where your family put you out,
Difficult to grasp what the concept of love is about.
No prince charming like the plans that you had.
Impossible to find when you have issues with Dad.
Then when you finally stand up and fight,
It never really turns out just quite right.
The strength from Jezebel you draw secretly makes you a whore.
I know this is painful but you need to hear more.
Your anger hurls you straight into the enemy’s lap.
Deception it is because control never comes back.
Finally one day you rise out of your mess.
You humbly realize this was only a test.
Now your life begins to become blessed,
When you realize God is the one you should impress.
It’s a confident walk when you know what your worth,
Now rise up and claim your thrones Queen’s of the earth.
Don’t worry about the Kings, they won’t be too far.
All along they were only really waiting for you to set the bar.
Loosed from the chains that caused shame in the past,
You finally flow with freedom safely in your grasp.
For once your heart begins the process of restoration,
Soon will come the light of transformation.
Now life’s hits your throne is prepared to take,
Even if they showed up with a video tape.
The Gospel of Q
My name is QueenTheProphet…. this was my journey to the throne.
I AM VIBRANT. (Victoriously Imparting Bold Revelation and Needed Truth) www.vibrantfamilyservices.com
If you are in need of a referral for services, contact Vibrant Family Services via email, put BLOG in the subject line and someone will assist you with service referrals FOR FREE.
Be Blessed-
QTP
Domestic Violence
Suicide Prevention
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Crisis Intervention
QueenTheProphet.com 