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2 Powerful Words

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2 of the most powerful words to own in your vocabulary when all hell seems like it’s breaking loose are “But #God”

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#Love is on the verge of extinction

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I’ve spent the last month or so observing the social “norms” of human behavior both online and in person. I’ve actually been online a lot more then I have been posting and out and about a lot more then I make mention of. I’ve been observing several age groups and since I really have made an effort to disconnect myself from the majority of my music demands and interactions with others, I was able to get a very clear yet disturbing insight on a few things. I even pondered if I should bother writing about it because quite honestly, most people aren’t going to care. Most of the time most people don’t seem to care about anything these days really until it happens to them personally or it’s too late. After that thought passed through my mind I had to rebuke myself because it doesn’t matter if “most people” don’t care, I do and because I do, even if what I’m writing only falls on one set of ears that pays attention it’s worth it.

Let’s start with the basics, if you can honestly look around you at the state of the world and not see that something is very, very wrong? I feel sorry for you. The lack of compassion we have for each other is at an all time disgusting high, people (both young and old) are entirely self absorbed, selfish, and the average human ego is out of control. The number of people on anti-depressants is alarmingly high, most working class people are “working poor”, poor people are kept poor because if they make $5 over a certain number they lose their medical insurance and can’t afford to pay for it out of pocket, the average working person is absolutely exhausted on a daily basis working 40+ hours a week to still struggle with bills, marriages are falling apart, children are being raised by electronics, the future leaders of tomorrow have role models with zero morals, and we all know that organic is the best food to buy because it doesn’t contain harmful poisons yet most people can’t afford the food without poison in it.

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We live in a time where a tiny electronic device allows each individual person to feel like the Mayor of their own little world. Most people, spend most of their day inside their phone, in their private little town. People spend hours taking pictures of themselves and no longer know how to enjoy a moment with their family or friends without making it a social media update while it’s happening. The next time you go out to eat, take a look around you. Most people sit at a table on their phone. Kids no longer know how to use their imagination and play. Nobody goes outside. These small devices are holding people hostage and nobody realizes it or cares. Why don’t they care? Easy, because the entire trap is designed to stroke your ego. It feels good. You like “likes”, you like followers, you like messages, you like comments. Some of you like them so much you’re addicted to them. The sad part is all of this is a distraction. Most of us are so busy in our tiny bubbles, we have no idea what laws are being passed and every major crisis only has the impact of a status update. We have been trained to filter information so fast that it is impossible for us to hold on to anything because we’re being hit with a million things every single day.

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All of what I mentioned above ties into the title. See because of all the things I observed during the last month or so, one thing stuck out to me more than anything else and that was Love. It’s not a secret or a surprise that the Family as a unit has been under attack for years. I firmly believe that what we are witnessing is the manifestation of a well calculated and executed plan that has been in the works for decades. If you distract people from the opportunity to find love or even think about it, you are destroying family. Why attack family? Because strong families make strong communities. Marriage and family aren’t even goals for most people anymore. If you ask people about their goals most of what they start talking about has to do with money. (1 Timothy 6:10 “for the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows” NKJV) 

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If you’ve had the fortunate blessing to have someone 70 or older in your life, then hopefully you’re going to fully grasp the rest of this writing. I would like to hope that most of us have heard a beautiful story at some point in our lives as how maybe our great-grandparents, grandparents, or even our own parents met. Some of us have even known people that met when they were little, grew up, and are still together. At one time the sense of commitment was strong. Families were supported by their community (family, friends, neighbors, church, schools, etc) and marriages withstood the test of time. We now live in a society that caters to our ego and nobody teaches problem solving skills anymore. We are taught to move on to the next thing that makes us “happy” which is the same kind of truth farmer’s use to catch a rat. Farmer’s don’t leave rat traps out in the open, they cover them with a little bit of hay so the rat doesn’t see the trap and gets caught. I am not talking about abuse, it is never okay to tolerate abuse. I am speaking directly of people throwing away marriages due to lack of self-control, boredom, and unrealistic expectations they put on their partner to make them happy. Nobody teaches people how to make themselves happier people in general and folks are finding themselves in “the grass is greener on the other side” syndrome and nine times out of ten if they took the time to water their own grass it would be just as green.

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We live in a microwave world. Everybody wants everything in under sixty seconds and the things that we are giving our time to are not things that are going to sustain us. Everyone is running, running, self absorbed, running, running, and running right into the grave. If you were to take your last breath today, what kind of legacy would you be leaving behind for your family? Have you accomplished all of the things you wanted to accomplish? Are you happy? Did you enjoy your life? Did you spend as much time with the people you love as you would have liked to? If you died today and God gave you a chance to come back but you had to give Him a good reason, what would your reason be? Would it be so you could work more? Post on Facebook one last time? Send out a few more tweets? Buy that one last insignificant piece of expensive crap that consequently didn’t fit in your casket? By the way, while you were so busy running, did you ever happen to get the chance to make time for God and sow into where you’ll spend eternity? When your eyes closed for the final time, did they close with the assurance of where your soul is going?

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I may not have the answers on how to fix the entire world, but I am certainly revealing to you some ways that we can fix ourselves. The point I wanted to make is that we are robbing ourselves of life and the real experiences and opportunities that shape and mold us. We are not being good parents if we giving our kids more gifts then time. We are not building a strong family if we’re too busy for it. We are currently failing the next generation because those of us left with some sense and some good foundation are getting caught up in all of this to a certain degree and as you look down from your age to the age groups behind you, it gets worse by each decade of ages. We need to start remembering the things that gave us the good parts of our foundation, our fond memories and give those experiences and opportunities back to the generation behind us or they will not have them. Think about all of your favorite things from your childhood and then ask yourself what of those are you imparting into your children? If we do not impart these lessons, they will not have them. If we do not allow the opportunity for “nature to take it’s course” and keep trying to control nature it is absolutely going to blow up in our face to a degree nobody is prepared for and it’s already starting to.

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In closing, I hope to some degree this has struck a nerve (or two) in a way that gets you to actually pause, re-evaluate, and do something different. I hope that you do not allow yourself to be a social media hostage and shift it back into the “just for fun” category so that real life doesn’t continue to pass you by. For myself personally, I want to one day be able to tell my future children and grandchildren a story of how I met, fell in love, and married their future father and grandfather, and no where in that story will their be anything ratchet that you see on television or involve social media.

Love yourself, inside out. by @queentheprophet

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Love yourself from the inside out sounds kind of funny to say, but no piece of advice you’ll ever receive about loving YOU will ever be better. This came to me earlier today because I was taking a long look in the mirror and I had a moment that I actually embraced the fullness of how much God loves me. My whole life kinda flashed before my eyes (both good and bad) and I realized how thankful I am for my life, victories, defeats, trials, good, bad, blessings, lessons, and the process. Most of us have heard over and over that God loves us no matter what, He gave his life for us (John 3;16) but I don’t think I’m alone in the boat when I say although I heard that, it really didn’t mean that life changing “ah-ha!” like it should have. For most people, it is extremely difficult to fully comprehend an all loving creator that you can’t see when most of your life most of the experiences you’ve had paint a very different picture about the world. It can be drowning, exhausting, depressing, etc. What we forget most of the time that we as human beings are made up of 3-parts (Spirit, Soul, Body).

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A lot of people leave out the Spirit part and say mind and soul which are actually the same thing. Your soul includes your mind because it’s the part of you that your memory, emotions, and free-will are. Your soul is the part of you that experiences the emotional side of your life that your physical body lives. So when your physical body’s life experiences rejection, abuse, hurts, disappointments, pains, etc. the memory of it lives in your soul (your mind). Just because something doesn’t haunt us on a daily basis anymore doesn’t mean that we’re over it. A lot of people experience things and unless you looked very closely or knew what to look for (i.e. close enough to know someone has trust issues) you’d never know that it still exists. So when we find out God loves us, that’s good news and our spirit receives it, but most of us can’t even comprehend what that even really means because our souls are busting at the seams with contrary information. What happens then is our spirit wakes up and begins to try to climb it’s way out of the quicksand of our soul. I use this analogy because this is exactly what it can feel like on the inside when you make a decision to follow Christ but there’s that “thing” that keeps blocking you from experiencing the fullness of it. (We’ll get into the “How thick is your soul’s quicksand” in another article)

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We are constantly fed through media outlets “the quick fix” for just about every problem we can create. The truth of the matter is, the quick fix isn’t always the best fix. You can’t put a band-aid on a broken leg. Sometimes the real reason we can’t fully receive God’s love, is because in all honesty we have no idea what love is actually supposed to look like. The hardest person to love, is always going to be yourself. Loving yourself has nothing to do with being conceited or running around in designer shoes with a T-Shirt stating “I woke up like this”. Loving yourself is the inner sense of knowing that you are unique, precious, and irreplaceable to the creator of the universe and He wants nothing but the best for you no matter what has happened, what you’ve done, what you have accomplished, what you’ve failed at, in your brokenness, and in all your flaws He loves you. Loving yourself from the inside out encompasses everything from allowing God into the secret cracks and crevices of your soul, letting him into every memory, hurt, pain, attitude, or poor self images you have collected or been given over the years, all the way to the food you feed your body.We have been mislead thinking the answers to it all was to make it look good on the outside because that’s what everyone sees. What good does it do you to put lipstick on a pig or a fresh hair cut on a bag of rotten garbage? Isn’t it still a pig? Isn’t it still garbage?

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Take sometime to really search out the things that have or still hurt you. Be honest with yourself and be honest with God. There is no problem you can bring to him that He can’t or won’t fix, but it has to start with you. When you can begin to see yourself the way God see’s you, the outside will eventually catch up to your inside. The happier you are on the inside will begin to change what’s projected outwardly.

What Defines YOU? by @queentheprophet

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What defines you? 

Seems like a simple question, right? Normally when people are asked this question they begin to start listing all of the things in their lives that are important to them (i.e. being a mother or father, their job, their heritage, etc.). Generally those answers make sense. Those answers though are very generic. The reason why they’re generic is because you are first yourself  before you are any of those things. Your spirit, your soul who you are in all of your nakedness, the you that you are when you are alone, the parts of you that think inside your own head, the emotions you feel, the pains and joys you carry, the characteristics and unique traits that define your personality, and who you are when it’s just you and God. Before you can be any of those other things, you are first yourself and if those other things no longer existed, you would still be.

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In life, we often times get too caught up in things or what our life has become so much so that we forget who we are and I know plenty of people (myself included at times in my own life) that when the “things” that define us are gone? We no longer know who we are. This doesn’t mean that when terrible things happen we aren’t allowed to be sad, depressed (for a period of time), or hurt. There are times though that when people forget who and what they truly are entirely that when something terrible happens, they never come back from the place of being hurt, sad, or depressed. Did you know that men at retirement age have one of the highest rate/risk of suicide? Have you ever met a person that was once wealthy or famous and became sick, disabled, injured, or aged out of their fame or money? Have you ever met a man or woman unable to recover after a divorce? Have you ever met a parent unable to move on with their life after loosing a child? I personally know many of all of these people and at one point in time was one of them myself.

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Pain is inevitable, the duration of your suffering is optional. You absolutely have the power to chose the outcome of many situations in your life. You may not be able to predict or control all of the circumstances that you will encounter but your response to them is absolutely within your control. Do you react in faith or do you react in fear? Do you use hope to cope or do you allow a terrible thing to knock you off your mark for the rest of your life? The truth of the matter is one day we will all give account to God for ourselves. Being a mother, father, sister, brother, movie star, rapper, football player, lawyer, doctor, minister, teacher, etc all means nothing on the day you stand before the throne. On that day we will each give account for ourselves and we don’t get to bring other people with us. But with that individuality also comes the individual unconditional love God has for each and everyone of us. He loves all of his creations and He absolutely is willing and capable of healing any pain you feel or turning around any circumstance you face. Many times though, He is not used for the cornerstone of the definition of ourselves and He is used like an emergency substitute in a football game when the quarterback gets injured or He gets used as the last resort genie in a bottle after a tragedy and then gets blamed for everything not going the way that we think it should ideally go.

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Your status is not your identity and neither is your struggle. If you allow those things to define who and what you are then when those things no longer exist, what is left of you? Do not let society fool you into believing that you need certain material things or social status to be happy or valuable. You are a valuable being not because QTP said so, but because God said so. Every life is a gift, even a difficult one. We are entitled to nothing. Everything we have is on borrowed time and is a gift. Each gift does not come with a required time table, meaning the gift can be for a moment or for a life time. Even if a gift is for a moment, be thankful for the moment no matter if it was a single moment or a million moments and do not let a struggle or loss of a gift then become the defining factor of your life. If you still have a life? You still have a reason to live it.

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You may not want to hear this, but sometimes we have to lose everything to figure out when we thought we had everything, we really didn’t have anything, and then when we lost what we thought was everything is exactly where we found something that ended up being everything that we ever needed.

Be encouraged-

QTP

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#Relationships101 Broken Heart Stages of Grief

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The cycle of relational healing is very similar to the cycle of grieving when someone dies. Unfortunately, many people do not take the time to properly heal before getting into another relationship and then 2 or 3 relationships later, they can’t figure out what’s wrong. Too bad relationships aren’t like taking an exam for a license where you’re forced to wait at least 90-days before taking the test again.

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Let’s take a look at the stages of grief as it relates to death (some sites will show you 4, 5, or 7 steps but it’s all basically the same):
1. SHOCK & DENIAL-
You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.
2. PAIN & GUILT-
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.

You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn’t do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.
3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.

You may rail against fate, questioning “Why me?” You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair (“I will never drink again if you just bring him back”)
4. “DEPRESSION”, REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be “talked out of it” by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.

During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.

5. THE UPWARD TURN-
As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your “depression” begins to lift slightly.
6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.
7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward. You will start to look forward and actually plan things for the future. Eventually, you will be able to think about your lost loved one without pain; sadness, yes, but the wrenching pain will be gone. You will once again anticipate some good times to come, and yes, even find joy again in the experience of living.

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You may think it’s crazy to compare it to death but think about it… the ending of a relationship, marriage, or family when love is involved it is a death. It’s a relational death. I know I am not the only person in this world who has experienced every single one of these things during the course of a divorce. When a relationship is breaking apart there are all of the surface parts in play and also the spiritual that many ignore. When you join yourself to another person (even if you only do it once) you become one flesh physically and in the spirit. When that bond is severed, there is unseen emotional and spiritual damage that has been done and needs time to heal. If you do not take time to complete this process? You are setting yourself up for failure and why set your self up if you want to have a relationship that is meaningful again? A lot of divorcees “jump the gun”. I have seen time and time again, folks not even divorced yet and they hop into another relationship because they’re so accustomed to being married that they immediately look for a routine or structure to put themselves back into. Nine times out of ten rebound relationships fail.

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Being single is not a disease. We have got to take the time to love ourselves, especially those of us with children who are absorbing everything we do, and everything we don’t do. Don’t worry about what people think or appearances, those things don’t make or break you. God gave you a life that He wants you to live abundantly, especially in love.

 

Reference Site:

http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html

Are you over it? by @queentheprophet

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Self pity is one of the most destructive forces on earth. 

We have all gone through things that have shaped our lives some for good, others not so much. There is healing and freedom for whatever you go through or have gone through, however the only way you can access that FOR REAL is you have got to cancel the pity party.

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YOU’RE NOT OVER IT IF:

You are one of those people who doesn’t do something because of something that is associated with a previous hurt, pain or trauma. For instance, when a woman says ” I don’t trust any men” or when a man says “I don’t trust any women”.  First of all, all men, all women are not the same and I hate to rock your entire universe, but hunny? If they’re all the same then YOU are the common denominator in that equation of problems and the question now becomes WHY do YOU keep allowing the same kind of person into your life and why aren’t your standards higher? You need some healing and if you don’t get it? You are going to make every relationship that you ever have one miserable place to be.

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Every time (or most of the time) anything is said or done that scratches the surface of that thing, here you go. You’re like an emotional slot machine and every time somebody puts a quarter in you talk about it. That victim mentality is GARBAGE. I’m sorry to bust your selfish bubble but EVERYBODY has been a victim of something at sometime and we are all victims of the government. So.. you can either take all that pain and suffering and use it to fuel your fire for good & help others or you can sit around and be a victim the rest of your life. The choice is yours and in case you haven’t heard or have been paying any attention to the state of the world? You don’t have much time left to make that decision….

If the struggle is REAL right now? Read this… by @queentheprophet

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Greetings Fam!

This blog is multi purposeful right now and I do believe it will be right on time. I think at this point, just about everyone I know (myself included) is going THROUGH IT. Not just like regular things, extra things. The series of unfortunate events that you look up at the sky towards God and scream “UM HELLO? Anytime you’d like to step in now…”

DO YOU TRUST GOD? Ask yourself that seriously. Most of us only kind of do. You trust him because it sounds good, but do you REALLY trust him in your finances? In your marriage? Waiting on a mate? You get the point. What makes something faith is the fact that you can’t see it, you KNOW it. (Hebrews 11:1 Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen) When you doubt, you kick the door wide open for fear which cripples your faith. You either believe God’s got you, or you don’t. See, don’t confuse faith with your feelings. You don’t always “feel” spiritual, God’s presence, secure, in love, or anything else. Everything in your life especially faith is a choice and a decision. You are under no obligation to trust God at all.

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When you ask God for faith, He doesn’t wave a wand and give you faith. Situations begin to present themselves for you to exercise your faith. If you tell God that “if you were rich you’d do this & this.” What good is that? The key to unlocking blessing in your life plain and simple is to be a blessing, especially when it’s harder for you to do. These things make your character. These situations are the very things that turn up the heat and melt your imperfections and make you better. A lesson will keep repeating it’s self until you’ve mastered it.

Your test becomes your testimony. A set back is a set up for something better. If the struggle is real right now? You better thank God and keep your composure because your blessing is on the way. Did you ever stop and think, the outcome of your reward is calculated from your response to the test? Why do you deserve to be rich if you never help anybody now? If we gave you a million, you’d be just as selfish as you are now except with a million dollars & since you don’t care because you’d have a million, is exactly the reason you don’t have it now. We will never understand everything and in case you haven’t noticed, God does not always come when you want him to, but he is ALWAYS on time. He has a highly esteemed reputation for never letting anyone down and He certainly isn’t going to mess that up for you.

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There is a lot of people in this world way more messed up then you. The Holidays is a time of year many, many people suffer from suicidal tendencies and depression. An entire town in Connecticut will mourn the anniversary of children who were killed last year, even the children who were hidden in other rooms but heard the shots fired that killed their friends. Pause. Now what exactly was your problem again? I strongly encourage you to muster up some strength & faith, push past the way you feel and be a blessing to someone else. You won’t be sorry you did and whatever it is that’s your issue right now? God’s got it. Promise.

 

WINGZ UP

Q