I think it’s fair to say that most people aren’t ever taught the importance of having personal boundaries. Proper parenting involves setting limits (rules) for children, school and the workplace have policies and rules but unfortunately the average person doesn’t learn about personal boundaries until they’ve been hurt by not having any.
Self preservation is not selfish. It is very important to have an inner confidence (sense or knowing) of what is okay and not okay when it comes to ourselves. Having healthy boundaries is learning how to own our personal “yes” and own our personal “no”.
Boundaries look different depending upon what kind it is.
You may have a work boundary and decide that Saturday is family day and you are not doing any work related things on a Saturday, period. You may have a personal communication boundary that if someone is hostile or swearing, you will not participate in the discussion until the tone of voice and language can be respectful.
It doesn’t happen overnight, but take sometime to think about all the areas you have in your life and what the limits are. Do you even have limits or do you just go with the flow even when the flow is trying to drown you? Have the courage and strength to see yourself as the valuable creation God created you to be. Have confidence in your worth and know deep down on the inside that you are worthy of being treated with dignity and respect.