#RAWTRUTH101 #Love versus #SEX
#RAWTRUTH101 #Sex verses #Love
I may step on some toes with this one but the one thing I don’t ever do, is lie to you. Fam, If you’ve read any of my other articles, you already know I speak from a place of both experience and formal education… except in my case, the education came AFTER I already had the experiences.
God designed sex to be an intimate form of expression & bonding between husband & wife. Hence the reason you grow attached to a person when you have sex and if you don’t you’re probably immune to the feelings that go with it because you’ve had so much sex. I’ve also found to be VERY true in ALL CASES the crazier a person is, the more people they’ve had sex with. Now God knows I am no bible thumper and I am a train wreck, this isn’t judgment… it’s the TRUTH. Anything in life you’re exposed to enough, you develop either an understanding of it or you become immune to it because you just get used to it. Pause. Do you know how dangerous this is when we talk about being immune to taking off your clothes and having intercourse? Some of us (too many of us) were ROBBED from ever fully grasping the beauty that is SUPPOSED to come with sex. Some of us (myself included) became the kind of people that just didn’t care. We were immune.
Most relationships today are a joke. People have sex a few times then get together and they have no idea who the other person really is. Sex is spun so freely in every media channel you go through. Folks that can’t handle all the sex being thrown around on social media ARE NOT relationship ready, and if you get into one with a person who is NOT READY, you WILL get your feelings hurt. Fam… what happened to love? For me it didn’t even hit me until the last few years. I started to change. Thinking about having someone touch me who didn’t love me made me sick. For me this was ultra sickening because I was married to a person who didn’t love me and that is a whole other article. The more I studied love, relationships, and analyzing behaviors that worked versus ones that didn’t led me to everything I’m explaining to you now.
Good relationships have good foundations. Good relational foundations are so simple it’s stupid. You have GOT TO be a friend first if you want anything that’s going to last. If you’re okay with someone leaving in the morning, that’s on you. I’m all set. I’m not sharing my body, if we can’t share life. You can’t know my body unless you know my mind. Sex does not keep the lights on, sex does not guarantee that person will be standing next to you in the hospital if you are sick, and if sex was no longer a physical option in your relationship WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE? 50% of marriages these days end in divorce. People do not bother taking the time to get to know somebody then when the storm comes (because it’s LIFE fam. Storms come.), they find out how that person really acts under pressure when money gets low or they get bored in the relationship. Lots of this can be avoided. I say this all the time, people don’t just one day go crazy. They were crazy all along, you ignored it. Let’s take a moment of personal responsibility. Think back to a relationship that ended in disaster. Those signs of disaster were present long before the actual disaster occurred. People settle for the love they THINK they deserve. Incase nobody has ever told you or shown you, healthy relationships do exist and you DESERVE to experience what love was designed to be… a blessing.
Love is not always a feeling. It’s a choice and a decision. Bad days happen fam (Domestic Violence is not a bad day, it’s something else that is very wrong). If you want to experience the fullness of love & life… learn to be single. Take time out and enjoy life. Figure out what it is you want and need in a partner. Let your needs outweigh your wants, because as we know everything we want isn’t always good for us. When you make a choice to love, make sure you have taken the time to get to know the person. Build a healthy foundation of friendship, trust, understanding. It is those things that will help you survive life and the curve balls we get thrown. If you don’t…you are making a conscious decision and be prepared to deal with the consequences.
I kid you not when I tell you after years of bad decisions, bad relationships I finally sat out a few rounds and was single for almost 2 years. Out of nowhere, just when I was truly content with being alone… I met the most amazing human being & friend. I’m sharing this because it’s the TRUTH and I want you to know that it’s possible. I am no better than you, God doesn’t like me better, and I’m still trying to figure out how or why I deserve this. I am blessed that the person in my life is my favorite person to hang out with, talk to, go through life with, laugh with, cry with, share my dreams with, and just about everything else. We have so many activities we enjoy doing together, we never get bored. A small benefit to a long distance relationship is that you HAVE to put the work in to make it work. Communication is a vital part of any relationship success and ours is outstanding. Hell, we even disagree good. When we disagree, it’s not a war… it’s a disagreement with two people that love each other and it ends with us still loving each other because when you learn to communicate like a grown up, you can discuss ANYTHING because you have already established love & respect for the person you’re talking to. I’m telling you this not because you should envy what I have (don’t do that…you have no idea what we went through personally to get here), I want you to have hope. I’ve been with this person about 4 months and we have not had sex and hands down this is the best relationship I’ve ever been in. This relationship has taught me the value of having a partner not just someone to smash. I know that if I was sick, he’d be there. Having that kind of peace of mind, is EXACTLY the kind of foundation you should be building if you really want to experience something that will last.