#Relationships101: How you get em, is how you keep em
#Relationships101: How you get em, is how you keep emRelationships are work. A real one is anyway. Marriage & Relationships are a job… that you signed yourself up for. When you decide to make something a “relationship”
you sign that silent contract that you are going to be there, love, support, etc. Relationships hit rough patches (Domestic Violence or abuse is NOT a rough patch, IT’S WRONG and a whole other topic) what most people fail to realize is that in a real relationship, it’s the couple’s job to work through that… together.
The beginning of any relationship (even if it’s the first week) is the most important. This is your foundation building time. This is the time you lay the bricks. When I say “how you get em, is how you keep em” I am referring to your behavior. Often times folks slide into the “comfort zone” and forget working at a relationship is a continual process. You should never do anything in the foundation building time that you don’t plan to make a habit for the rest of the relationship. The foundation period is where you are outlining how you’re going to behave and what the other person can expect from you. Complications start sliding in when the expectations you set start failing.
In the beginning of the relationship, you’re sweet, romantic, and verbally communicate this often… Don’t get upset if you stop and your partner wants to know why. Fam every person interprets love differently. Some people need to HEAR IT, some people need to SEE it, and some people need to FEEL it. We need all 3 but each person communicates love in a primary way first. It’s our job as relational partners to make sure we learn how our partner interprets love and make sure we communicate to them that way. We should always remember the rule “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. If you struggle with what your partner may need from you, try this… observe what they do for you and how they behave towards you. If the person makes it a point to say they love you, or gives you verbal praise you have a 99.9 % chance that person communicates love through words of affirmation and will openly receive that from you. If your partner often touches your hand or hugs you, you have a 99.9% chance they primarily interpret love through physical touch. Get it? If that’s too much work, honestly you have no business in a relationship, you’re not ready. The worst relationships of all time are 2 selfish people in love.
Think of your relationship as a garden. You’re responsible for the seeds you plant. You can expect to see in your garden, exactly what you’ve planted. Whatever you feed will grow, whatever you starve will die. (BRAIN FOOD THINK ABOUT IT) Be Blessed