Don’t panic Fam, nobody is about to beat you in the head with a bible. We are though going to discuss the realities of forgiveness. Luvs, I certainly don’t have all the answers and I can only speak about things I’ve actually experienced. I do know that no matter what has happened in your past, it does not have to define your future. We live in a crazy world, crazy things happen. Some of those things we bring upon ourselves by choices we make and sometimes things beyond our control happen that wound us.
We live in a world that tells us if something doesn’t make you happy, go find what makes you happy and move on. Yes, we all deserve to be happy. The one thing you hear less often (more then likely because it’s the HARDCORE truth) is that personal responsibility should always come into play first. Something’s we have to accept the consequences for our actions and then move on. Other things it’s harder to move on because we have been scarred and we want that apology so bad… it often times destroys our happiness and we never end up getting it.
Fam, I love you so I’m going to tell you the truth. Nobody owes you anything. Even an apology. What THEY do is on THEM. Your response, your action, your life IS ON YOU. There comes a point and time where we have to take control of our emotions and life. Forgiveness is NOT ABOUT THEM, IT’S ABOUT YOU. Carrying weights and wounds of your past can absolutely destroy your life. If you research, unforgivness is a common link found in over 80% of people diagnosed with cancer. Stress as we know causes all kinds of health problems including high blood pressure, anxiety, obesity, depression, and cardiovascular problems. It’s just not worth it. A bad relationship should not be the reason you never have a fulfilling one, having parents that didn’t do right by you does not entitle you to be a bad parent, going to jail is not an excuse to be mad at the entire world, being abused in any fashion is hard enough as it is… it can leave you feeling hopeless, powerless.. DON’T LET IT OWN YOU FOREVER.
If it angers you, it controls you. Do not let unfortunate circumstances destroy your life even if it wrecked havoc on years of it. If you need help, GET SOME. Stop being so proud. Getting help is a sign of strength not weakness. When you choose to forgive, you are choosing to no longer allow that thing, situation, or person have power over you. It doesn’t always happen over night, trust me. I’ve had things happen to me that would blow your mind. There were times I actually had to tell myself out loud I forgive them because everything in me still wanted to ring their neck. It eventually got easier and once it becomes a pattern of your behavior, it becomes like a second nature and you will live freer because of it. I promise.
The hardest person to forgive though…. Is yourself. We are our own worst enemies and our own biggest critics. Fam, nobody has the right to judge you. That’s God’s job. It’s not a free pass to intentionally do wrong things, but if you made a bad decision you don’t have to live in it. Time is short, life is precious. Don’t waste either. The question I dare you to ask yourself is if you’ve tried it the other way, what do you have to lose by trying it this way?